"Hey El Gato, I saw a couple of really interesting pictures recently which have given me a few ideas including a shot that I want to do with you. I just need you to sit there for a minute and look straight into the camera. Directly at it."
"No, not rub your face into the lens, just sit there and look straight into it."
"No, I don't want you to give me a leg rub, just sit there and look into the lens."
"No, lying upside down and rubbing your head across the concrete isn't exactly what I have in mind. I need you right side up, and looking into the camera. Just for about a minute, that's all I need."
"Oh sod it, it's not what I had in mind but it'll do for now. We'll try again some other time."