419.
A few weeks ago I received my tax return, which I have until 31 January 2006 to complete - which means that I will wait until 30 January to do it. It's just the way my mind is wired. I visited PC World this morning to get my laptop repaired. Has anyone else noticed how the assistants in these types of shops are all pleased to see you when you first enter? One came bounding up to me this morning and cheerfully asked me if he could help. His demeanour changed instantly and completely when I told him that my laptop was broken, and that since it was still under guarantee, I would like it repaired. "You need to phone PC World Services. We can't fix it here," he growled. "Can you phone them from here?", I asked - not unreasonably, I thought. "We can't do that", he replied, enigmatically. I looked at the counter, and there were at least three telephones there. "Are your phones not working?", I asked, out of curiosity. "We are not supposed to phone PC World Services. You will need to phone them yourself", he replied. "Okay", said I, "Could you pass me the phone and tell me the number, then?" This eminently reasonable request was met with mild annoyance. "You need to phone them from your own home." "Why?", I asked. "Do they check to see where the call originates from? How would they know where I'm phoning from? Can I call from a payphone, or from a friend's house?" "That's not what I meant, sir. You can phone from anywhere", he testily replied. "Okay. Pass me the phone and tell me the number", I said. "You can't phone from here", he repeated. "But you just said I can phone from anywhere", I replied. "But not from here", he said. He was becoming distracted now, as the shop was beginning to fill up, and he was wasting time arguing with me that could be better spent earning a commission. He began to turn away. "Err, excuse me," I said politely, "I don't think that we are finished here." "You cannot phone from here," he repeated like a stuck needle, "You need to phone from somewhere else and arrange to have the service engineer come to the shop to pick it up." "And why can't you do that?" I aked, "The computer is here, the disks are here, the shop is here, and there are telephones here." "Because you have to phone, sir!", came the irritated reply. "Okay," I said, "pass me the phone, and I will!" By now the humourous surreality of the situation had worn off, and I was becoming quite angry. So was he, but he realised that I was not going to give up, and all the time he spent standing debating with me was time during which his colleagues were stealing his commissions. "Look," I said, "This is PC World, from whom I purchased this computer seven months ago. It is under guarantee. It needs repaired. I am not responsible for the internal divisions within the PC World corporation. I purchased the machine from here, and it is your responsibility to sort it out. So, please, sort it out." He was browbeaten into submission. "Okay", he said, "We will contact PC World Services and arrange to have the machine uplifted and repaired.", he said meekly, before adding "Even although we're not supposed to." Little did I care. I was the customer, and the customer is always right. I expect that I might have to wait a while before getting it back as punishment for making them actually do something.

Last year I took Liam and Joe to Edinburgh