Imagine the scene – I have entered ‘droid-dom’ that kingdom of the inhumane where flesh and blood turns to dust.

I’m in a hotel, that shall remain nameless, in a city also nameless, in a room like thousands of others, waiting for a journey that will certainly remove any speck of humanity from my body. I am about to get on a plane to somewhere else for a few meaningless hours and then return to this land of facelessness.

I have spent several hours on a train where no-one knows me, then found my way here via the goodwill of a man who let me into a secret – the ordinary busses run here for free, compared to the ‘hoppas’ which charge £8 for the privilege of a round trip into the supposed hallows of the airport. I took his advice and came to this concrete palace without charge….other than the extortionate sum I’d spent getting here from home.

Then, ever the optimist, I went to the bar, where I’d hoped to see Spurs play – not so, I sat in the dubious company of a chap (20 feet away) with his head in his hands, another chap, eating a burger, also 20 feet away in a different direction and a bloke on a barstool nursing a beer as though his life depended on it. Not much in the way of company I think even the most die-hard loner would agree. I ate the only veggie thing on the bar menu – a cheese and tomato toastie and some chips – toastie cold and chips volcanic if not properly cooked.

For my sins I got to watch Hull City v Barnsley (3-0 for anyone interested) and no mention of the Spurs (what has happened to Sky’s Monday night Premiership game?) – mind you, now DM has told me the score I’m not so sure I wanted to know.

There are few things in life more designed to kill the soul.

I am an android. I have no blood. I have no feelings. I am devoid of anything.

I wish I was at home with my flesh and blood lovely peeps – DM, R&A but it’s not to be. I’m here and I have to get on with it. So you get a crap photo, not because I can't muster anything else - simply because I don't see why I should suffer if you don't!

Last year, those life-saving Celestions were my shot!