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Patricia Lay-Dorsey | profile | all galleries >> daily_life tree view | thumbnails | slideshow

Falling Into Place
~self portraits by Patricia Lay-Dorsey~
Photographing my life, the everyday ordinariness of it, has become a spiritual practice. As I write this I can hear many of you saying, “Oh god, she’s going new-agey on us.” Maybe so. But the fact is that photography has forced me to see life as it is, not as I wish it were. Sometimes I wonder if I would ever have come to this place had I not fallen into it. Literally.

It started with a fall, a knee-buckling ankle-spraining fall onto an unyielding sidewalk one cold January day. After the fifth unexplained fall in six months, I saw a neurologist who put me through a series of tests. Two months later I had a “75% certain” diagnosis of chronic progressive multiple sclerosis. Within the year he’d changed it to 100%.

Twenty years later I wonder who I’d be and what I’d be doing were it not for this unexpected assault on my body. Don’t worry, I’m not going to say I’m grateful it happened. Sure I’d love to be able to run another marathon, or bike another 200-mile weekend tour, or even open a flip-top can by myself. It’s a real pain to take a half hour to change into my swimsuit, to wet my dress because I couldn’t make it to the toilet in time, to ask for help opening every door that pulls rather than pushes. And more. Much more. Being disabled can really suck.

And it can teach too. Patience, perspective, humility, determination, even gratitude. How much I appreciate small things like being able to pick up my camera’s memory card when I drop it (again and again) on the floor. How proud I was last August when I drove by myself the 1300 miles to and from New York City. How pleased I am that my claw-like fingers can still hit the shutter release button on my beloved Canon 40D.

I call this essay “Falling Into Place” because, in some strange way, I feel this IS my place, to see the world waist-high rather than face-to-face.

I started this project with the intention of showing my world view as a woman with a disability. As months went by, the work dictated its own focus and that was simply providing an eye into my daily life. Being disabled was just one piece of the puzzle, and not a particularly significant one at that. What became important was not so much showing my life to others, as seeing it for myself. My task as photographer/subject has been to recognize and document the most unremarkable moments of my day.

Some people “get it” and others don’t. My friend Dorothy Walters wrote the following poem after seeing the first tight edit of photos from this essay. Dorothy gets it.


The Photographer
(for Patricia)

She has transcended body,
left it behind.
She lives in a brain-ferment,
a buzzing hive of mind,
a tossing sea of perception.

She gathers fragments
of the presented world
and translates them
into a new medium,
a cosmos of images
held in a different frame.

In this uncovered order sun
and darkness meet,
old and unaccustomed bleed into
one another's space.

She is the eternal creator,
eyeing, composing, unmaking,
turning life over
into new soil,
new beginnings,
unexpected revelation.

Dorothy Walters
August 9, 2008
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comment | share
Rob Misanchuk PM reply 28-Sep-2010 04:25
Fantastic gallery. Excellent job. V
Libby 06-Jan-2009 18:12
great pictures, patricia, from a fellow ms'r!
Rody Graumans PM reply 30-Dec-2008 10:08
I really like this personal and intimite approach.. this is -real- daily life
Thanks for sharing and a big V
Pat 22-Dec-2008 02:10
The Series shimmers with clarity, honesty, courage and joy! Its like a tremendous and tender symphony in which you are the composer, conductor and all the musicians--I stand, clap my hands and shout, "Bravo!!"
Eric Herbelin PM reply 20-Dec-2008 18:33
No words. V
bill burke PM reply 19-Dec-2008 23:17
Excellent demonstration of letting the photos tell your powerful story!! V~
Ray :) PM reply 10-Dec-2008 19:00
Patricia - I have just watched this gallery as a slide show and have spent a few minutes in silence and captivation. I love how you have 'let it all hang out' - a certain sign of acceptance.
A special and personal gallery.
Cyndy Largarticha PM reply 09-Dec-2008 03:36
A wonderfully touching collection of images. You give so freely of yourself, Patricia, a quality which is exquisitely communicated within each photo. You've touched many hearts, my friend.
Celeste Hayne 08-Dec-2008 23:07
Patricia, this is such an inspiring and moving piece of self discovery, tribute and self love. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for sharing you with us, and for sharing those special and intimate images of your life and your soul. You have an innate sense of love, caring, talent, bravery, honesty, courage and and unending desire to keep going. You remain strong to your own convictions and show us the true you. To receive such a blessing as yourself into my circle of friends is indeed an enormous pleasure and gift. I appreciate you for all you are and all that you do, and I cherish our love and friendship. I'm looking forward to reading and seeing many more of your wondrous and beautiful pieces. Always and forever, Love, hugs and blessings, Celeste
khaled_im PM reply 04-Dec-2008 17:03
overwhelming human dimension to the images...profound & beautiful
Ted Chappell PM reply 27-Nov-2008 20:00
My dear friend
As you are aware (to a degree) my last five months hae been somewhat of a challenge. On countless occasions while laying awake in the hospital bed at night (the worst time of day) I often returned to your images and even more importantly your words. I found this extremely supportive and comforting. I doubt if you have any real idea how much you mean to all of us, your admirers, from all around the world.
Thank you for being so openly 'you.'
Aroha
Keith Goldstein PM reply 24-Nov-2008 14:12
Wonderful strong gallery. ~V~
JD PM reply 21-Nov-2008 05:55
You tell the story very well - in words and visually. That doesn't make your story more "pink", but it definitely shows that your courage is immense.
Ann... PM reply 20-Nov-2008 23:40
Going from strength to strength!!!
giselle borgwardt PM reply 13-Nov-2008 10:28
Thanks Patricia, you give us the chance to learn so much from your experience.
Máire Uí Mhaicín PM reply 12-Nov-2008 19:29
I have scrolled through each of your images afresh tonight,Patricia, and seen them as a whole, with your narrative. The images and words are powerful and strong, exuding your humanity in all its facets, celebrating your enormous and enviable strength and determination and humour in the face of the cruel "halt to your gallop" as an athlete. Well done, you brave and courageous woman. If your zesty gritty spirit could be bottled and sold you would make some entrepreneur richer than Midas!
Ross Nolly 22-Oct-2008 22:16
Patricia... this is the first time I have had the chance to have a proper look at your “Daily Life” work. I love it...so personal and touching. I can't really pick out a "best", because to me they are a total body of work.
saltzman40 PM reply 21-Oct-2008 01:02
Patricia,
I finally take the time to read this...it is wonderful and I can't wait for more.
Vera
Cyndy Largarticha PM reply 18-Oct-2008 21:10
Patricia, we have never met yet I know you know how much I admire your words and images. You're a gifted writer as well as a creative artist. Keep doing what you're doing--touching others, making a difference in their lives--there is no worthier calling.
Ari Baiense 17-Oct-2008 18:54
You are a victorious fighter Patricia!
Reading your pictures (yes, they are readable) and your text I realize how small and selfish we are sometimes when we complain about little things. Your example is a motivation to look forward and, against all odds, always do something meaninful and positive.
Thank you!
Phil Douglis PM reply 28-Sep-2008 06:16
This gallery is indeed taking on a life of its own, Patricia. It is one of those rare galleries on pbase that reads as an unfolding story, with each image adding meaning to the others. To take one image out of this context for discussion would be counter productive. It is the cumulative meaning of the whole that affects us, and gives us an understanding of a life that in spite of its difficulties and inconveniences is so richly fulfilling.
enny jameson PM reply 24-Sep-2008 20:04
this is terrific Patricia, you're doing great!!!!!!!
Roe.. PM reply 24-Sep-2008 13:49
Patricia thank you for being so gracious and offering a peek of your daily life. These are amazing photographs..I'm happy your vision is within reach..
x roe
Rosemarie Kusserow PM reply 24-Sep-2008 08:08
I admire your courage Patricia, wonderful gallery, thanks for sharing your life with us, love, Rosemarie :o) V
alicia w. 10-Sep-2008 14:19
patricia--
your images are unique and an interesting slice of your life. i feel there is a happy sorrow to many of them, which is difficult to define.
we learn about a vibrant personality -- your tie-dyed attire, the stickers on your scooter, your bathroom (love this).. but i feel we see a sadness in your eyes through your self portraits.
beautiful photos. thank you for sharing your life.
flowsnow PM reply 09-Sep-2008 04:39
A wonderful project and idea Pat! And runs like a film strip as well! You should also include some of your once upon a time ago shots......after all it's about you, Pat!
Ali Majdfar PM reply 04-Sep-2008 08:25
What a great idea, excellent captures. GMV
Mostafa Moftah PM reply 19-Aug-2008 19:52
Love it so much.. V~
Ann LT PM reply 17-Aug-2008 02:43
This is an awesome idea Patricia!
Refreshing and Real...keep 'em coming.
iamjv PM reply 17-Aug-2008 02:34
Wonderful images... thanks for sharing. Jv
panos skoulidas 30-Jul-2008 03:15
Damn...! I'm astonished !!!
Bravo... extraordinary photos...
We should ALL be VERY PROUD of you
Peace...
Panos from the earthquacking LA...!
Guest 30-Jul-2008 00:58
Wonderful, Patricia. Obviously you learned a great deal from the "master." And your writeup is itself a work of art.
Have fun at your workshop (is there any doubt?) Such creativity, such life force!
Love,
Dorothy (S. F.)
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