The invasion of Earth by Aliens has many signs, some hideous, others seemingly benign. This is of the latter type. The casual observer would regard this colorful thing as one of those surveying “whiskers” one sees at construction sites. The purpose of whiskers is to mark locations of things and delineate lines or boundaries. They are left in place and covered up with dirt, gravel, or concrete as construction progresses. Thus their appearance on the ground is nothing out of the ordinary and is assumed to temporary. This apparent “belonging” and their planned disappearance are reasons they pose such a danger: by the time we realize the true nature of these things, it could be too late to avert a catastrophe.

As you might have already surmised, this is NOT a surveying whisker, but the young form of an Alien creature that we would normally call a plant. Whether the pink tendrils are arms, legs, branches, or roots is of no consequence. What does matter that it exists at all on Earth. Reports that mention it describe horrific consequences to human beings who are unlucky enough to find themselves in the presence of larger versions of this thing. To be the victim of such an organism is “not pleasant.”

The way to distinguish surveying whiskers from these mean-spirited beings is to watch one for about thee and a half hours while wearing welders’ goggles. Within that length of time it should twitch at least once, something whiskers never do. However, I should note one slight problem: breezes can produce movements in whiskers that could be mistaken for twitching. If you happen to observe such twitching, bury the thing as soon as possible under at least five feet (2m) of radioactive German sausage and report the sighting to this forum. These things sometimes are Day-Glo green rather than pink.

Please excuse the wordiness of this report: its author could not restrain himself. He attended a class that taught brevity of expression but was kicked out for uncontrolled rambling.