As you might have guessed from the title, this disgusting stuff is extra-terrestrial puke (barf). Examination thereof yielded little useful information: the boys at the lab were only able to determine that it was not of this world. A senior investigator postulated that it was the result of an all-night drinking binge during a brief visit to our humble planet. We hope the Alien drinkers were not here to evaluate the planet in preparation for an invasion.
The slime is the most repulsive substance I have ever observed in my many years of stealth missions, dirty tricks, and covert investigations. Its odor was unbearable. For ten minutes---the time it took me to don my bio-suit---I had the dry heaves, and for three weeks following this encounter,
I itched “like a man on a fuzzy tree.”
My superiors were so pleased by my fortitude in recording this sight that they rewarded me handsomely (a certain body part still tingles). In spite of that pay-off, I am reluctant to accept another assignment of this type. Field operations can test a man's resolve.