247.
The madness intensifies. Like all men (apparently), I have been guilty of leaving just about everything until the very last minute. I thought, mistakenly according to 'She Who Knows Best', that I had completed my Christmas shopping. Liam's present from me was purchased three weeks ago. I bought Linda's last week. The only one I still had to get was Cathie's, and since I didn't have a clue what to get her, Linda decided that she would get something for me to give to her. So, I thought, that was me done: all that remains is for me to help with the wrapping and pay the credit card bill. Delusion. Two days to Christmas, and Liam hasn't bought a present for anyone... so I had to do that on his behalf (okay, I loaned him some money, and we both went shopping together). Later, Linda came in with half of Debenhams' and all of Marks and Spencer's in carrier bags (you will not believe just how much stuff can fit into our small car), complaining that she can't think of what to get her mum (Cathie). For several weeks now, Linda has been plugging away at me: 'You know, Mum has everything she needs, but she has always said she would like to visit New York...' 'Stop right there', I interrupt, 'I, too, would love to visit New York, but we can't afford it'. I know the tactic: aim high. If she starts out asking for London, she knows she'll end up with a weekend in a caravan site in Montrose. You know where this is going, don't you! She started with New York, then worked her way down through Barcelona, to Paris, then London and, finally, Edinburgh. Barcelona worked out cheaper than all of the others, but the flight times were awkward. So now a four-star hotel in the centre of Amsterdam has been booked. It doesn't end there, however: oh, no. It won't be much of a break for Cathie on her own, so someone has to go with her. Guess who that someone is? 'It will be a present from both of us', says Linda, 'and it was nice of you to think of me too! That's a great present. Thanks!' Wait a minute... this is supposed to be from the both of us, but not only am I paying for all of Cathie's trip, I'm also paying for Linda's! Not only that, but I don't even get to go myself!!! Have you ever had the feeling that you've just been done!!!!

It's Christmas


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