Scientists who should have known better used a ClearLake TexAss Decombobulator (CTD), to levitate this man in an attempt to prove that using anti-gravity paint for trips to Mars is unnecessary. (Anti-gravity paint is discussed at this image.)

The CTD was created by Agent Cross, who did so---miraculously---without resorting to use of The Evil Math (calculus).

Technical details---and the social ramifications thereof---are, of course CLASSIFIED WITH PREJUDICE, but are freely available from the Director of Advanced Psyops/UFO Concepts at his unencrypted forum.

The idea for this experiment came from Agent Braden who, due to his tendency to mislead, trick, and lie, has been assigned permanently to Michigan, one of the worst possible duty stations. In spite of his looseness with the truth, all attractive, available women are urged to learn more about him.

WARNING: This type of force alteration is not to be attempted by children, even if they have the appropriate security clearance.

To get an idea of how we are duping the public,
refer to the sanitized version of this story.