I am being watched! Claz is sitting behind me whinging about what I might write……that’s after I’ve had an earful from her about not being seen in the pic because she’s got no face on and she would NEVER have worn those trousers with those boots. Now, I’ve also got DM whining because he wanted to photograph the boots…..

So, in a spirit of ‘bugger the lot of you’ here is MY pic of MY pal reading one of the ‘saucy’ gifts that we shopped for and found. You’ll be interested to know that this is one of the more tame gifts, but it’s the biggest so covers the most part of her face and body!

(Not that she’s lacking in confidence at all…..of course we all know that’s not true after years of marriage and being taken for granted.)

So, she’s learning the great art of flirting from a woman who is obviously a real ‘hot babe’ because she’s the author of such titles as ‘superflirt’ and ‘hot sex’ – both of which are now in Claz’s library!

The book contains such nuggets as:

· The average increase in the protrusion of a woman’s buttocks when she is wearing heels is 25%. (This, remember, is a GOOD thing.)
· Our hands will often caress innocent looking objects in a way that suggests what we are really daydreaming about.
· Every movement we make exposes out private thoughts, who we are, what we’re thinking, our dreams ambitions and fears.

So there you go, you may think you’re trying to squash your protruding buttocks in between two bored commuters, hiding behind a newspaper on the tube peeking at the hot guy opposite but the fact that you’re licking your lips, stroking your hair and flexing your ankles tells all……..

A strange phenomenon occurred last year - this pic is one of my highest hitting of the year....yet all it shows is a crappy nasty shot of our horrid kitchen and there is NOTHING salacious about the text to pull in the punters!