Times they certainly are a changing……

When DM and I first started to talk to one another – not in the very early days as in when we first met but when we started to see each other in 2000 – we used to discuss “domestic stuff” and I was always thrilled that he’d talk of cooking and of gardening with his ex. I thought I’d found myself a truly new man.

Later I discovered this wasn’t really so. His “cooking” with his ex amounted to opening a jar of ready-made pasta sauce and boiling up dried pasta. He stopped “cooking” when he realised that for me cooking was all about ingredients and properly making things.

His gardening was about hacking back shrubs (both brutally and indiscriminately by the evidence I’ve seen). He has always cried off mowing lawns because of hayfever and has a cavalier attitude to the rest. Because I’ve been brought to tears by his hacking of things, I’ve basically found that it’s best to get on with the gardening myself, knowing that I can bring in DMs muscle for engineering jobs.

Since I started college (whoops, I mean Uni) I’ve been out seven days a week and especially with the short days at this time of year, seem to be rarely home in daylight these days so David has said he’ll do more of both things (cooking and gardening that is).

Each day, I arrive home to a freshly-baked loaf of bread done by him. I’ve yet to come in to a meal cooked by him but he does make sure the larder is stocked and that the kitchen is clean so I can just get on with the meal without having to negotiate emptying/stacking the dishwasher etc.

In the last week, my seed garlic arrived, ready for planting and DM volunteered to prepare the bed that it’s going into by taking away the remains of the squash plants and the sweetcorn that was there before (yes, I know I’m putting an A where I’ve just taken an A out but I’m rubbish with Cs and never have enough beds with Cs to give me proper rotation so I just make sure that it’s not the same A and make sure it’s prepared well with compost and lime and get on with it). He’s going to spend an hour tomorrow top dressing the bed with lime and with home-made compost then has even volunteered to plant the garlic (see above) out. I’m flabbergasted given that he’s shown precisely no interest in helping me with the garden but delighted that even though it’s taken me NOT being in it to get him in it he’s out there doing stuff.

It’s a long way from the early days when he poo-pooed the idea that we could produce a sizeable amount of our food until now when he recognises that it’s not only possible but desirable enough that he’s prepared to muck in and do it himself.

My new “career” as a student has given David a new role in our world. He’s actually enjoying it too. All I hope is that when I get to spend some time out there myself that he’s found a big enough love of doing it that he wants to work with me on it. I dream of spending my evening on Christmas day poring over the seed catalogues with him planning next year’s crop. It’s when I’ve always done it myself but until now, he’s not been a participant.

The times they are a changing……but are they changing enough to fulfil my dream?