Er no actually – it’s ceramic tiles – cheap as chips. It cost me less to tile the floor than it would have cost for even a budget lino/vinyl floor covering. Mind you, a vinyl/lino covering would not have cost me four back-breaking, filthy, miserable days of my life, which is what this did.

I swore I’d never lay ceramic tiles again using dry tile cement because mixing it is such hard work but the bloke in the shop persuades us that the dry stuff is the best and that a mixing paddle for the drill would make light work of the mixing. DM actually mixed my buckets of cement and later in the process grout too but other than that, this is 100% my own work.

It’s a bit “rustic” (read crap for rustic) but despite that I’m immensely proud of it. The tiles look passably like slate unless you get right down on the floor and look closely.

Today I finished the job by grouting the tiles I’d laid yesterday that go underneath the appliances (fridge-freezer, dishwasher and cooker), which were hoiked out into the middle of the floor yesterday for me to tile their spaces. Effectively now we’ve been unable to use the kitchen for another four days.

When I’d finished(!) the work, we went off to Plymouth to do a bit of pre-wedding shopping and had a meal while there. We got home at 9pm and I spent an hour on my hands and knees scrubbing off the surplus grout and tidying up the tiles before we finally pushed the appliances back into place at 10pm.

I know I never stop whinging on about it but it’s bloody hard work so I’m relieved that this concerted effort has brought us considerably closer to a finished kitchen.

When I got this far, DM poked his head around the door and said that my little “design” in the middle of the room (see above) made the whole thing sing. Phew, sounds like he’s pleased then!