I’ve been working hard today and got home at around 6pm so my only opportunity for a photo was a walk around our field with my camera in my hand just in case. The evening sunshine was making everything pop. It’s all coming alive with a vengeance at the moment.

This ash tip unfurling its little hands just sums up my world. I feel as though I’m really coming alive again myself for the first time in a long time. I’m not sure if that’s a natural part of the healing process or if it’s because I’m starting the long road off the anti-depressants. I made a vow to myself that I would not “walk down the aisle” while relying on drugs for my happiness.

So, I’ve started to cut down and am planning to take it quite gently and be drug free by the end of May. That should be do-able according to my doc and my psychologist, both of whom say that it should be possible to do it a bit more quickly if I want to but I’m going for the slow and sure rather than the fast with the possibility of burning.

Strangely, I am feeling so content and gently happy at the moment that I’m not missing the doses of drugs I used to take at all at the moment. If anything, I feel better on the lower dose than I did before.

Things in my world could be better – for example, I could have a job that paid me enough to pay my mortgage, I could even have a kitchen sink, but somehow none of the things that aren’t so good seem to worry me much any more.

Spring is a great time of year for coming alive.