Contemplations

I have written this entry 4 times now.
Not one of them conveyed what I meant.
So now I try for the 5th one.
The others have been all over the map.
Some ended up just saying how happy I am.
Some talked about the contemplations of a cats mind.
Others said Wow, when I took this photo it was a fright.
And I also had how it is no big deal now.
It is not that I am conflicted.
It is that I still find it fascinating I am involved.
I mean only two people know all the true facts in this picture.
One of them is writing this right now.
I guess I am saying that it is no big deal,
and yet it is still a big deal at the same time.
Sometimes things can be a big deal without worry.
THAT is what I was trying to say and why it was so hard to write.
Yes, it is a big deal, and no, I am not worried about it.
Is there a word for that I am missing?
To explain that something is not freaking me out,
even though it is just as big a deal as it was before?
Maybe my personal dictionary will expand today.
Maybe my vocabulary is just lacking this one.
Maybe there is a French word for it.
Some research is in order.
(maybe I will have Girly look it up)