I shot this photo early in the evening and chose it because of the rainbow colours of the Galileo’s Thermometer to indicate that I’ve had one of the best days I’ve had in recent times. Fresh from my parents visit, my friend Jan observed this morning that I looked “better than she’s seen me look for ages” and I must say, I felt it too.

However, since I took the pic, I’ve had a timely reminder of “small steps” rather than big strides because something that I should have been able to take in my stride completely threw me into a state.

We were channel surfing looking for something to watch on the telly after dinner (isn’t it a complete pain that despite burgeoning numbers of channels, they are still mostly populated by pure, unadulterated crap) and we came across a Will Smith film, “The Pursuit of Happyness” (sic). It was described as “heart-warming” and apparently is a true story. I am still avoiding sad/difficult/trying films and books – I can’t cope with anything other than big hearts and happiness.

Anyway, twenty minutes in, I said to DM “where’s the warm-heartedness?” It’s really bleak. DM reassured me that it was setting the scene where the poor bloke who was the focus of the film had been sliding down into doom and gloom but that it’d all start getting better soon. An hour in, I was sat in the corner of the sofa, stiff and hunched with misery, digging my nails into the palms of my hand to try to stop the tears.

You see the plot is about a “good guy” who is down on his luck and everything he touched crumbled to dust. A series of misfortunes compound the effect of one another until no matter how hard he tries and how much he works, he can’t pull himself out of the quagmire into which his life has slid.

He tries and tries and works and works and it still all goes horribly wrong………how I relate to that one and all of the feelings of despair and misery from before Christmas all bubbled back up to the surface and kept me awake all night, stiff as a board, fretting and feeling sick with fear.

So much for colourful and feeling better…..the doc was right – little steps and some sliding backwards………….

Again I reiterate how long this has all been brewing - my last year's pic echoes some of my recent comments and then my folks were worried enough to pop down to see me too.