I am an ebay novice and today, for the second time in a couple of days, I lost an auction that I was bidding on.

It’s made me feel very glum despite the fact that it was foolhardy of me to be bidding on stuff when I am basically broke but it did make me think of the little ads that appear alongside the google searches that seem so preposterous that you can’t imagine why ebay would want to advertise itself as selling it.

I swear that I once googled ‘haemorrhoids’ (for a work project you understand) and got a little box saying ‘looking for haemorrhoids, fantastic low prices here….etc’

Today though, this is the best I could come up with – it’s not a googlewhack, it’s a google clanger – why on earth would someone engaging in a life laundry exercise want to buy stuff on ebay?

Anyway, I am extremely fed up to have missed out on my two items (and if you’ve won an ebay auction in the last ten minutes or so, IT WAS YOU – YOU GOT MY THING – HOW COULD YOU WHEN I WANTED IT SO MUCH?)

What’s worrying is that I am the least avaricious person on the planet – I am sitting here in a freebie teeshirt that’s over 25 years old, advertising Love and Money’s first album and a pair of five year old trousers that cost me a tenner in a bargain shop. Even my little sis was shocked at yeaterday's posting when I photographed the cups and saucers I had when we were sharing a flat together in the early eighties! I just don’t ‘want’ stuff but I am bereft at missing out on these two things which I have been watching for the last few days and imagining them in place in our newly decorated home….an I turning into a shopaholic? Please NO. Please tell me it’s just my natural instinct for the thrill of the chase – the thing that makes me a good business woman? Please tell me it's just my nest building instinct? Please tell me I’m not going to be swanning down Bond Street with a Prada bag over my arm deliberating over whether to go to Luis Vuiton or Berberry next……

Last year, hero worship was the new religion!