All day today, David has been ambling into my office and saying ‘what IS that?’. He’s been referring to a red blob at the bottom of the garden that is so far away, even with good eyesight neither of us could make it out.

I wandered down for a closer look just now to find it’s a red heart-shaped balloon, after coming to rest in a blackcurrant bush. Is it an omen I ask myself? Why wonder something like that? Well, there is nothing that seems more volatile or more open to change than my life at the moment and I’m looking for signs, clutching at straws, watching out for black cats, reading my ‘horrid-scope’ and any number of other superstitious activities.

My first need for reassurance comes from trying to understand how an action taken today will impact on my life later. It is possibly one of the most important, ground-breaking, life-changing actions of my whole life……but I’m sorry I can’t say why just for now. Rest assured, as soon as I can tell the world, I will certainly be doing that. It’s just that sometimes things can get messy if you talk about stuff before fruition. Does the red heart landing in our garden symbolise a positive outcome for my heart?

It’s also one of the most nerve-wracking, worrying days for any Spurs fan. We (Spurs) are away tonight to the ARSEnal. I keep saying it’s about time we won one of these crucial matches against a big side but so far, that has eluded us. On form, they should thrash us at their home ground. BUT tonight is critical for them too – only by beating us and then winning all their remaining games do they stand any hope at all of beating Chelsea to the Premiership title. Really you could argue it’s all over now – it’s only achievable for them if Chelsea slip up somewhere along the line and they keep a perfect record from here on in. Does the red heart symbolise their success? Or the triumph of our strong heart over them, leaving them crushed in the bushes?

It’d be really wonderful if we could be their downfall so for once we could get a laugh in at their expense…..it’s usually the other way around.

So, after a day of emotional anguish, tonight is a nail-biter of the highest order.

Does the red heart mean something else entirely? Could it be telling DM (who is 40) that he needs to look after his heart? Does that mean emotionally or physically? Oh – worry worry!

As I walked towards the heart from the house, I found myself thinking it is my heart, that was left in San Francisco recently. I wondered if my own heart was returning to me from afar. If so, why is it back, is it that Jeanne doesn’t want to hold onto my heart any longer? Is it that it has broken free from SF to return to Blighty?

Could it be that it symbolises my heart in a tangle of branches, preventing it from movement or growth?

Is it a sign? Oh if it is, please let it be a positive one!

Exactly a year ago, I was at WHL cheering on the Spurs to come back from a two-goal deficit and draw against the Gooners. How life has changed - DM didn't even come to the game. Two years ago, we were with Shazbop and Hughie in Clapham.