….the life of a corporate whore.

My professional life seems to be a real roller coaster at the moment. The week before last, I was in the depths of despair about a series of incidents and yet today I’m on top of the world!

Why?

Well I can’t give details because I’d get fired for giving away our corporate secrets but what I can say is I had a VERY big win today. It was snatched out from under the nose of one of our competitors and they are generally regarded as ‘the industry standard’ for this particular project type so it’s hugely satisfying to have won it.

I thought about how to represent my day and the white knuckle imagery was top of mind so that’s how I’ve come to this photo. I really do liken my job to a roller coaster – sometimes, when I’m in the depths of despair (like two weeks ago) all I can see is a huge climb that will be slow, difficult and fraught with danger……most importantly, no safety net. Whatever I do, I have my personal reputation and my company’s reputation in my hands and I take that responsibility very seriously indeed. In fact, I lose sleep over it regularly.

Sometimes, I feel as though I’m rushing down the hill of the roller coaster and plunging into the abyss, not knowing how something will turn out and too busy and too stressed to really think about it – it’s exactly like that bit of the roller coaster when you are half way down and you just have this feeling that the rush you are experiencing will end soon and all you are left with is the lack of control.

Today though, despite a few tricky bits that I liken to climbing that last little bit of the hill and reaching the plateau at the top, the feeling has been a pure adrenaline rush that is exciting, exhilarating and ultimate pleasure as I’ve gone over and faced the plunge. It’s why I keep on doing this job despite my own worries about the impact of the stresses and strains on my home life and my health. I feel on a day like today that I want this rush to happen again and want to keep going until the next one happens.

Of course, the pleasure lasts only a few moments and after that there is the depth of the trough and the long haul back up again for the next few moments of pleasure. But they are worth every bit of toil.

I just have to remember one thing…..it’s a greasy pole I climb each day and the next fall could be the one that breaks me.