I think it’s fair to say that the last two days of my professional life have been the most stressful, difficult days I have yet encountered. Clearly in any career there are bound to be those times and this is just one of those occasions where I have just needed to do whatever (however difficult) it takes to get through them.

Surprisingly, even though as I type I am still shaking and very tearful, I am filled with hope and optimism for the future. I feel as though the pain has been worthwhile – we all have to have pain in order to appreciate the good times and this has been one of my personal painful times and I find myself stepping back in order to recognise just how lucky I am.

The colleagues I have (several people made the observation yesterday on my posting about how happy the small group that I photographed yesterday looked) are a real joy to work with and there is so much talent and goodwill that it’s humbling to see.

Tonight though, the one person who deserves mention above all others is David. He’s had the miserable experience of picking me up off the floor a number of times both during last week and over the last two days. He’s had to watch me cry, shake and question my own ability and judgement. He’s been here worrying about what I’ve been going through and waiting for the next time he’s had to scoop me up again.

I woke in the night to find him awake and stroking my hair just to give me some comfort. I woke this morning at 5am to find him climbing out of bed to go and attend to the hens who were creating havoc and waking all our neighbours. I get home tonight to find a really thoughtful gift from him waiting for me.

My photo is designed to reflect the hopefulness I feel when I realise how much he supports and encourages me. It’s a similar pose to one I saw at the Bill Brandt exhibition at the weekend and for me it encapsulates the unique bond between us. I have seen a number of ‘hands clasped’ shots on PotD at various times but what struck me about this pose is that it is evocative of a different range of emotions and support values.

It’s not a copy in as much as his was shot wide-angle and was taken on a stony Sussex beach with the sea in the background. The use of wide-angle here would simply have revealed garden! I could have shot it in gravel but I always try not to replicate but to add something that’s about me – in this case it’s about renewal and new life and the grass and its growth is my symbolism for that.

It says to me (and I hope to readers of this) that you don’t have to smother one another to be going in the same direction while protecting and nurturing one another. It is a metaphor for reaching out for the same goal but with support and protection. It says we are grounded and growing.

Most of all I live to fight another day but it sure is easier to do that with the care and love of another human being. So, tonight I feel thankful for my team and for my love.