The "photo" is a ruse. The title is a ruse. The date is a ruse. Our boys know the real story, but they are not talking, as doing so would undoubtedly lead to panic, insurrection, and a complete breakdown of social order. We admire your fortitude in the face of such danger, John, and look to you for continued inspiration.
Note to self: See if he swallows this psyops gobbledegook.