15-JUN-2008
Hellaine & her father, Mr. Bell
On Friday Hellaine Bell brought this framed photo of her father to the Quality of Life group meeting at Hannan House Senior Learning Center. She said the original was in very bad condition but she'd taken it to Walgreen's drugstore and they had restored it beautifully. I asked her when and where her father had been born. She said he was born in Georgia and she thinks it was in 1898. "We never know for sure," she went on to say, referring to how persons whose ancestors were slaves often lose their family history. The things I take for granted.
Happy Fathers Day to those of you who are fathers!
14-JUN-2008
my new friends
Today (Friday) was my first day at Hannan House, the Senior Learning Center where I will be starting a photographic essay I'm tentatively calling "Elders In Action." I was introduced at the weekly Quality of Life group meeting and received a warm welcome from all the participants at the table! Bertha, Mae and Laura are in the front row from left to right, and Hellaine, Thelma, Ronnie and Velma are standing behind them. By the way, Velma is 94 and still gardens and paints in acrylics! She is a dynamo...as are the other women too. Such life, energy and optimism! I love them already!!!
13-JUN-2008
another slant on the subject
Many wonderful comments about my most recent gallery,
"my morning toilette." Deep gratitude to all who have taken the time to view it. I'm taking in all that people are saying and filtering it through my lived experience. As you can imagine, this is a very personal subject, one I'm struggling to express photographically. For some, my efforts seem to be successful; for others, not. I'm not sure what I think of it myself. As I said yesterday, it is very much a work in progress.
This morning (Thursday) I took more photos and posted five of them. I also deleted one that I'd posted yesterday.
CLICK HERE to see the updated gallery.
The image I've posted here does not appear in that or any gallery--it is an experiment I created in response to a comment I received by Anna B., an exceptional photographer I've met on David Alan Harvey's
"Road Trips" blog. This is what she wrote:
"The work you've posted gives me a glimpse of what you SEE when you emerge into the world each morning. It's very literal and a bit too obvious for my taste. That said, I would love to see more of YOU and your "embodiment" (your word) in this project. I don't feel like I'm accessing YOUR heart, YOUR body, YOUR struggle. I want to know what it's like to be YOU. Not you pre 46... you NOW. I feel as though images of your scooter are a constant barrier, tertiary to the real meat and potatoes, camouflage.
As far as I know, you are the only one in our group who can tell THIS story -- you're truly an INSIDER. What is it really like?
Anna B."
When I sat with her words I realized several things:
1) my scooter and I are one. We cannot be separated. She is my legs, my feet, my everything. Without her I would not be who I am nor would I be doing what I do. So when I photograph my scooter it is as much of a self portrait as if I were photographing myself.
2) Anna's right. I'm not sharing my deepest feelings in this series, at least as I originally posted it. So what DOES it feel like to exist in a world where you cannot walk, where you're always at risk of falling, where your hands can do few of the tasks expected of them. For me it means I see the world as a dangerous place, not in terms of threats from other people, but as a place where I can never be sure of myself, never count on my safety, never really relax. When I write that it surprises me, yet I know it's true. The image I've posted here reflects that reality. It speaks of my anxiety about transferring safely from my bed into the seat of my scooter. It was that transfer that landed me on the floor at 3 a.m. a couple weeks back and necessitated my calling 911 for help getting up. I want that scooter seat to look just this large and welcoming in real life.
3) But the truth is I'm at a loss as to how to express what I really feel about living like this. That's why I've put off addressing it until now.
So how does all this sit with you? Does today's image look like a gimmick, a trick, a photoshop ploy? Or does something in it ring true? Please give me your honest opinions. As you can tell, I'm struggling here. I sure could use your help. So what do you think?
12-JUN-2008
from my new gallery, "my morning toilette"
CLICK HERE to see my new gallery, "my morning toilette," in which this image appears.
I've tried several times to offer a glimpse into what life is like for a person with a disability. It's not an easy subject. First of all, there's the danger that any photos showing a less than able body will elicit feelings of pity in the viewer, and pity is the last thing I want from anyone. Secondly, there's a special challenge in tackling this issue if you're the subject and self portraits are called for. What do you choose to show and how do you manage to do it? Your point of view is not only a physical/emotional/spiritual consideration but a technical one as well.
This time I chose to focus on the morning tasks I perform to prepare for my day. Simple things like getting out of bed, using the toilet and taking a shower, getting dressed and going downstairs. Things everyone does; maybe I just do them a little differently. By the way, this series, like my life, is very much a work in progress and I'd be most interested in hearing your feedback. Constructive criticism is most welcome. Again, you can
CLICK HERE to access the gallery. I thank you ahead of time for your time and comments.
11-JUN-2008
playing for graduation
Today (Tuesday) was graduation day for the fifth graders. It was also my last day at the school where I've volunteered in the art classes for the past seven years. On Friday I'll be introduced to the seniors at Hannan House, the Senior Learning Center where I intend to work on a new photographic essay. Endings and beginnings. Both good and necessary, and each with its particular challenges. Today it was feelings of sadness that washed over me as I looked at these children I've loved so dearly. But it's time to move on; I know that's true. It's still hard.
When Susan Briggs, the art teacher with whom I've worked all these years, announced my retirement from the stage, I could hear something like a collective groan from the fourth graders in the balcony. She then held up a plaque she'd created using a shingle from the school's roof. On it she'd printed, "2001-2008, Miss Patricia, Maples Elementary School." There was also a small book full of signatures and notes from the students with whom I've worked every Thursday this year.
CLICK HERE to see a photo of Susan and me that was taken by the physical education teacher, Kathy Barker, immediately after graduation. In it I'm holding up the plaque.
10-JUN-2008
like a poppy in the sun
As many of you know I'm one of those PBasers--and there are lots of us--who are ALWAYS out there shooting, and if we're not out there we're sitting at our computers editing, and if we're not sitting at our computers we're thinking or reading about photography. Some call it an obsession; others wish they had the time to do the same.
I have no hidden agenda with my photography. I don't do this for any reason other than it's the only way I CAN do it. It's just who I am. I have no illusions about becoming a "well known" photographer. All I want is to keep growing, keep pushing the envelope, keep thinking outside the box, keep honing my skills and listening to my Intuition, and keep working at becoming the very best that I can be.
So it surprised me to hear from a respected editor of a respected photography mag that he loves my work. Not only loves it, but GETS it! That's what I learned today during a lengthy telephone interview with Brooks Jensen of
LensWork. Having them accept my unsolicited
Dualities portfolio for publication on Lenswork's July/August Extended DVD was enough of a kick, but to hear what Brooks had to say about the work, the idea behind it, the execution...well, I'm left breathless. Just knowing how highly he respects my work is enough to give my confidence a much-needed boost.
So now I'm anxious to keep going, growing and learning. In connection with that I've signed up to take a weekend workshop with
Mary Ellen Mark at The Center for Photography at Woodstock (NY) in early August. Now THAT should be an experience!!! One that I'm sure will give me much to ponder and assimilate, as well as a great big kick in the pants!! But now I feel ready to receive her critique without losing confidence in myself as a photographer. That's the gift Brooks Jensen gave me today, and it's the gift I've received from so many of you here on PBase. It was your encouraging comments about my Dualities series that gave me the nerve to submit them to LensWork in the first place. Wherever would I be without you? Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
09-JUN-2008
the relational moment
For Henri Cartier-Bresson it was the decisive moment; for me it is the relational moment. As I took photos on Sunday at the Detroit Festival of the Arts, I realized what I was after was the moment when people--or in this case, creatures--connected. That split second when energy or heart or humor passed between them. For me, this means clicking, clicking, clicking...and hoping for the best. Thank god for digital cameras!
08-JUN-2008
watching Hillary Clinton bow out
We may have been at an all-day singing workshop on Saturday but that didn't keep some of our women from watching Hillary Clinton's speech live on an iPhone during lunch. For many of these women, Hillary's historic bid to be the next President of the United States came as a direct result of their decades-long struggle for women's rights. In our midst were some of the grandmothers of the women's movement both in Windsor, Ontario and in Michigan. Whether or not we supported Hillary Clinton politically--some did and some didn't--we were all gratified to see a woman come this close to getting the Democratic Presidential nomination. And now we are united in our commitment to seeing Barack Obama become the next President of the United States of America!
07-JUN-2008
Norma Luccock, composer & song director
This weekend is very special for my singing community, the Gaia Women of the Great Lakes Basin. We've brought one of our favorite composers/song directors, Norma Luccock, into town from Vancouver, British Columbia. Our weekend started tonight (Friday) at the Ojibway Nature Centre in Windsor, Ontario where Norma led us in song for two hours. Tomorrow (Saturday) we'll have the entire day with her at a church in the metro Detroit area.
I think this candid shot gives a pretty good sense of the energy and inspiration Norma brings to her music and to her work as a director. When I took it she was leading us in her song, "Peril and Promise," the lyrics of which are based on
The Earth Charter.
And now I must go to bed. My alarm is set for 6:45 a.m. and it is going to go off all too soon!
06-JUN-2008
Susan Briggs, art teacher extraordinaire
Once a week since October 2001 Susan Briggs has welcomed me into her art classes at a K-5 school in Dearborn, Michigan. From Susan I have learned how creative and inspired youth art classes can be. I have seen children encouraged to tap into their imaginations and work with a professionalism I would have thought impossible for their age. Of course not all of them took advantage of this opportunity, but enough did to help me see what is possible.
After having taught art to adults in a community center, I know how many of us carry wounds from childhood art teachers who made us feel we didn't do it "right," whatever that is. I don't believe any of Susan's students will carry such wounds into adulthood. In Susan's classes students learn that "right" is more about process than product. She is all about effort and attention rather than perfection. Originality always takes precedence over set ways of doing things. What lucky children to have such a start! And how fortunate I've been to learn from Susan as well.
Today (Thursday) was my last day of classes with Susan and these children I love so much. Next week I'll be starting my work with the elders at Hannan House, a Senior Learning Center in Detroit. The director and social work staff have accepted my proposal to take photographs of the participants in their classes. I'm anticipating these photos will become a new portfolio of work. I am very excited about this opportunity, but it's still hard to say goodbye to Susan and the children. Ah, transitions...
05-JUN-2008
a boogie woogie morning
One sign that my sweetie is feeling better is when he plays the piano, especially boogie woogie. So when I heard him playing this morning, I knew he was in a good space. And I was right. He'd slept well for the first time in awhile, and had gotten up on the right side of the bed, if you know what I mean. To give you an idea of what kind of man I'm married to, here he is still walking with a walker, still dealing with pain, still going to physical therapy three days a week, and yet he went to visit one friend at the hospital yesterday and another at a nursing home today. A true prince of a man.
04-JUN-2008
our neighbor Nancy
So many people enter our lives. Some become permanent fixtures, some stay with us for awhile, and others just pass through. But what about those we see every day but know little about. Our neighbor Nancy fits into that category. She and her sister moved into the house behind ours probably about fifteen or twenty years ago, yet I know so little about them. All I know is that Nancy is a widow, a former teacher, a caring sister and a woman who loves to garden. I see her out my back window--where my laptop is located--every day that the weather allows. She always wears a hat and often has a rake, a hoe, pruning shears, a watering can, or a shovel in her hands. I suspect this activity has given her special pleasure since her sister has been ill with Parkinson's. When I stopped to talk to her yesterday, Nancy said that her sister had moved into a nursing home in April. There is now such sadness in her eyes.
