One of the things I keep being told is to accept that tiredness is a fact of depression but I am constantly so tired I feel as though I’ve been weighted down. It’s not just that I want to sleep, it’s that my body actually feels tired too. My shoulders ache – I think it’s the result of having the weight of the world on them.

So, on a day when I feel as tired as I’ve felt at any point during this, I though this photo of an ancient thing asleep would make a great analogy. This is the circinate vernation of a tree fern at Trebah. I am so drawn to places like this, it’s another of the great “lost” gardens of Cornwall that has been restored to its former glory and there are many plants not only surviving here but positively thriving in this unusually warm micro-climate in a little valley leading down to the sea. Today is my first visit and I already love it.

It’s mid-February and we’ve seen flowering rhododendrons, camellias, magnolias and even a hydrangea. Not only that but a baby blackbird sat in a tree fern over our heads and peeped to tell its Mum that there were big scary humans peering up at it saying “can it really be a baby at this time of year?”

I love the animal-like feel of this, it’s like the bowed heads of a group of monkeys asleep in the bush or a group of tails curled up. Furry, tactile and very beautiful. This tree fern will awaken before long and these fronds will reach skywards and open themselves to the sun. Hopefully, I’ll be close behind it.

Thinking about how I got to be where I am today, in the midst of this depression, I came to the conclusion that it's been brewing for a long time. Last year's shot tells me my conclusion was right!