OK – I admit it – I don’t know how we cope with modern life. I am NOT going to be “ready” for Christmas – and that’s despite being off work for the last three weeks.

How on earth, given that I am normally working long hours, away from home, do I normally cope? I’m failing to cope now and completely in the dark as to how I’ve managed before.

I know that I’ve spent lots of my time laying on the sofa watching daytime TV and more of it walking but that was what I was prescribed. So I can see where a lot of time has gone but really – in normal circs I’d have been cooking for weeks (none whatsoever done this year), scurrying around shopping and generally in a complete frenzy in addition to working 10-12 hours a day.

So, this year, I’m sunk. We’ve got what we’ve got, we’ll potter about on “the big day” much as usual except there won’t be enough food to feed a small army or a tidy house or any of the things we’d normally expect.

Perhaps this is a good thing and perhaps good things do happen in dark, damp places, much like this oyster mushroom on a log in our log pile. I know, I know, DM beat me to one of these…..

Last year - you see - I rest my case - still in London only five days ahead of "the big day" and tearing around looking for pressies.