DM “taped” a movie while I was away a few weeks ago so tonight, because there are only so many re-runs of “Grand Designs” and Delias that even someone with the dogged stubbornness of me can bear, we decided to watch it.

It was “The Talented Mr Ripley” – I quote the beautiful SG that is DM…. “I thought you’d like it – those cars, the Italian setting, the handsome men”. Well, it’s true that all of those things did appeal to me and I did sort-of love the film in as much as it gripped me and had a great plot to go along with all of the other attributes listed earlier. However, I was completely disturbed and depressed by the wanton way in which Mr Ripley was able to do his wicked deeds (the squash here is the key though I won’t say why in case I spoil it for anyone else) with no apparent flinching or remorse. It has really creeped me out.

I was a bit shocked to realise that he taped it a good few weeks ago and yet every ad break was crammed full of Christmas ads, though at the time I didn’t notice that they were because I was watching almost no telly. Shame the same can’t be said about now.

This squash was, I reckon, grown in a garden near me. I bought it from the farm shop and he often buys the surplus stock of local gardeners. It makes the cut (another Mr Ripley reference in case you didn’t spot it) because it’s so warty and lumpy-bumpy.

The reason for it is that I no longer have to squint to see its detail, I’ve become a member of the “middle aged” today if I wasn’t there before because I’ve had my eyes tested and now become a “speccy four eyes” for the first time in my life. (BTW – so has DM but I fear that only one of us looks fab and groovy in their specs and it’s not me! so, my ego has been well and truly squashed today - that is if I had any ego left after recent weeks.)

That great bastion of Britishness the Radio Times was getting me going last year.