These gloves give you super-powers. They do, really!

You put them on and they transform you from an ordinary human being into someone special. Someone invincible and who can change lives for the better. The trouble is that the invincibility only lasts for the length of time taken to do the washing up, during which, of course, you can’t be saving the world. I suppose if I’m honest, if you put them on then do the washing up then take them off, it’s a bit of a waste of a super-power isn’t it?

If you had super-powers what would you do?

If I had super powers, I’d stop some bad things happening. I heard yesterday of a friend who has lost both of her parents in the space of a year to cancer. Both got diagnosed only weeks before death and my friend was barely back on her feet from the loss of her mother when she had to deal with the loss of her father too. That’s something I’d have stopped.

I’d also have stopped the bad things that are happening to my team at work. Through the sheer, overwhelming power and absolute greed of another company, we’ve had to shut down a sizeable part of our business, with heavy job losses. I’d have certainly stopped them in their tracks with my super-power gloves. I’d have made sure my friends and colleagues jobs were safe so that they didn’t have to worry over Christmas about how to pay the mortgage or look after their families.

I’d have also stopped my other friend’s partner from walking away from her and leaving her to cope with a lump in her breast alone. I’d have stopped floods in the UK and Mexico, fires in California, Greece and Australia and wars in the Middle East, not to mention earthquakes in Pakistan, tsunami and all of those other terrible things that blight the lives of people. I’d also make sure everyone has enough to eat and access to education and medicine. To be honest, that last one I see as our shared moral responsibility really, not a swashbuckling thing. Something we should collectively get off our arses and sort out.

All of these things before breakfast and while wearing outrageously coloured tights with equally outrageously coloured but contrasting pants on the outside. Do you think the person that dishes out the super powers is only holding them back from me because they can’t bear the thought of me with my tights and pants back-to-front?

The truth is – I’m just a sad old git who’d like to have the power to make the world better. Do I sound like Miss World? Well I don’t look like her so get that illusion out of your head! (Tomorrow I'll be telling you, while posing in a swimsuit and tin-foil hat that I'd like to travel and work with children.........)

This afternoon, I commented to my friend and colleague that I’m a sad old git and her response was “aaahhhh you’re a LOVELY sad old git”. So I suppose that’s a bit better than just being a sad old git so I’ll have to content myself with that for today – the super powers will have to wait until tomorrow.

Last year I was just back from lakeland with something from Lakeland (Brit joke) and making a rather spiffing job of photographing them if I say so myself!