I’ve taken this shot for a single, simple reason. I’m trying to ‘capture the market’ in photos of this plant – I’ve done its seedpods and its seeds before so here is the flower to ‘make up the set’.

For some reason, I persevered and shot this tonight even though to be frank I didn’t feel like it one little tiny bit. Someone needs to switch off my stubborn circuit for me.

Today I have been back to the doc to get the results of my blood tests and they found nothing physically wrong. That didn’t mean the doc was any less worried about me – quite the reverse. He said ‘either take a couple of weeks off and do absolutely NOTHING or find yourself signed off for a long time by me’.

He reckoned I’m a whisker away from total burn out and am showing the classic symptoms of working harder and harder in a vain attempt to keep all of the balls in the air – he says it’s the classic sign of ‘late stage burn out’. He says sooner or later (probably sooner) it’ll all come tumbling down.

I’ve been told to ‘shut down everything that’s not vital to my existence’ until I can squeeze in a fortnight off to give myself time to get back on my feet. No, he says, a week simply won’t do.

At the moment I’m not sure in my head where that leaves my PAD – I’m trying to work out if it’s part of the problem (an hour or more everyday) or one of the few releases I have. Today is day 1600 in my odyssey.

DM has lectured me mercilessly on ‘not going to London more than once a week’, ‘not staying away more than two nights a week’ and no more ‘there and back in a day’. My Mum has done the same, as have (in no particular order) Janet and John, my Dad, Christine and Claz. Not to mention the doc of course.

I feel all at once relieved that the blood tests don’t show any nasties, embattled because of all of the naggings and desperate because of what all of this means at work. I’m probably done for.

Last year also I was hanging on by a thread.