Nah.

I am so pleased with things today that some might say I’d got disproportionately so, given that the reason for my pleasure is nothing more than a key in a lock!

Why has this simple little thing made me so happy? Well, I can report this now that we’ve finally managed to save up the dosh to do something about it but when we moved into the house, Pickfords (bbbooooooo, hisssssssssss) broke the lock on our back door and we’ve not been able to lock it for more than a year, until now, when a shiny new door has been put in to replace the broken one.

It really is a joy to be able to open and close the door, not to mention being able to get through the opening carrying a basket of laundry. Now there’s another thing, until today, my laundry had to go onto a green, broken and decidedly manky washing line left by Mad Maureen if I wanted to stick to my eco-friendly principles and dry outside, rather than in the tumble drier. We’ve also finally got around to getting a new spike for my old washing line from Sandhurst and now I can use a line that’s not making the clothes dirtier than when they went out. The old line is down the drive, along with a pile of other stuff, waiting to go to the dump tomorrow.

Also in the pile of ‘dump stuff’ is some nasty carpet from our ‘back lobby’, which was completely repulsive. While there was nothing out there today, I pulled at a corner of the festering thing and discovered a parquet floor underneath that has one or two bits of wood damaged but is, on the whole, quite nice and certainly nicer than the vile black carpet that had things growing in it that was there this morning.

So, I am finally seeing progress. Now, instead of all bashing down and no building up, we’ve finally got to the point of seeing some things changing for the better around here. I am dead chuffed.

At this moment, I’m sat at my PC, in my Spurs shirt (a good away win today has made sure we’re still in with a shout at Europe), which is coated in mud and muck from a day spent cutting grass, clearing away rubble after the builders have finished and other hard, manual labour and I feel at long last as though we’re getting somewhere.

I truly don’t believe my happiness at being able to lock the door at night to be disproportionate.

Last year's shot was one of my highest hitters of the year - why on earth would a shot of a bunch of leeks cause such a frenzy of clicking activity? Well, the saddos who spend their lives looking for porn seem to have found the use of the phrase 'dirty girls' too enticing!