It’s the first day of my precious holiday today. I have been working like a dog for so long that I needed a break so here I am, on holiday.

What have I spent my day doing? Cleaning, that’s what. Trying to make a silk purse from a sow’s ear and make the rat’s nest look less like a rat’s nest and more like a home. Of course I have failed but at least there is less dog hair, human skin and general rubbish lying around, even if the walls are falling apart and the damp is rampant.

Five loads of washing were done, two of them even got dry by being hung on the washing line, while the rest are still waiting to go out. Beds were changed. Towels were washed.

Then, a scoot to Waitrose where we both went into some kind of orgasmic trance as we wandered around the aisles fondling delicious, ‘exotic’ foods that we never see any more. DM said to me that he’d found the whole experience a real joy after a year of not setting foot in any kind of supermarket other than the dreaded Morrisons.

We came home, unpacked it all and I immediately started to cook the evening meal. By the time I’d done all of this, it was nine thirty and we sat down to eat after a non-stop day of chores.

So, my first day of my holiday has not been much of a holiday – it’s been ‘same old, same old’ even if a different kind of slog. Still, at risk of sending all the religious types into a frenzy of abuse, ‘we all have our crosses to bear’.

Last year was one of my best shots ever, in my own view.....