Sometimes even the most unpromising, ugly places can be really special. This is one of those places and let’s face it, it’s ugly alright.

In fact, the building itself is really ugly, so much so that although I shot a pic of it, even I (she of the famous pbase cack shots) bounced it because I couldn’t bring myself to post it. You KNOW it must be bad because I’ve posted shots of all sorts of horrid things before and not only that but this has been selected above it and we can all see that this isn’t doing anything to enhance my reputation as a photographer!

Despite all this, its heart beats with love and my heart beats with love and all sorts of other things whenever I see the sign.

You see, I met my love there. My Tobes.

When I moved from West London to Oxford in 1986, I was taking a big step for me – I hate change and hate moving but I’d decided I needed to do it for all sorts of reasons. In one sense I was running away and in another I needed the good kick up the bum that changing jobs and moving house would give me so I decided to heed these things and do it. BUT I was taking myself away from my family and friends and they were all worried about me.

I’d always wanted a dog but had met with resistance from my folks because my Dad HATES dogs. Even he agreed that I needed a dog at that moment. His view was that a dog would look after me and protect me from loneliness so he acquiesced and agreed not to shun me for bringing a second four legged friend into my world – the first was Big Bun who was still with me but getting old and not able to provide ‘protection’ in the way a dog would.

The day came to go and look for a dog. I went to what was then The Tower Dog Rescue but has subsequently changed its name to the Stokenchurch Dog Rescue and wandered around the kennels.

The woman who ran the kennels in those days was a remarkable woman. She walked me round, told me what she knew of the dogs, their history and their temperament then let me go round again with my sister and my boyfriend of the day to choose one.

Toby had arrived there that day, the suddenly unwanted pet of a couple who’d decided that the dog and their new arrival (baby) were not a combination they wanted. He was my love from the first moment I clapped eyes on him. He had the happiest face I’ve ever seen and never stopped smiling from the day I met him until the day he had his stroke in 1997, which he recovered from but was always frail from that time onwards until his death two years later.

He was bouncing up and down in his kennel saying ‘notice me, notice me’ and as I put my hand on the bars, he licked my fingers. He chose me and in return I chose him. Both of us got the most satisfying, perfect relationship from that chance meeting. I loved him from the moment he licked me and until the day I die, I’ll never stop loving him or craving for ‘one last kiss’, which sadly I’ll never get. He has brought me my greatest joy and my most crushing sadness too.

He’s here with me in Cornwall, on the wind and in spirit. This was the place he loved more than anywhere and Crantock beach is where his ashes were scattered on a terrible, desperate, sunny, blustery day in early April 1999, a couple of weeks after his death. His photos are on my kitchen windowsill and it’s not uncommon to find me chatting to him there or on the beach. Of course he's waiting for me at Rainbow Bridge as I type.

I went back to see the woman who ran the rescue, after my deliberations and she said that she could guess which dog I’d chosen. I asked which and she replied Toby. She said she just knew. She said that another collie cross had been my second choice and she was right on that count too. When I asked how she knew these things, she said it was her instinct. She also said it was a shame because the other dog was ‘always everyone’s second choice. That almost broke my heart but I knew Toby was the one for me so I stuck with my ‘first choice’ – Tobes.

I rarely see the Tower rescue anymore so that’s why it’s my shot today. It’s the place where I found the best love, the unconditional, all-consuming love of Toby for me is something that is one of my heart’s treasures!

A year ago, I had a book published....well, to be honest, I paid through the nose for an Apple book!