Anyone who has been reading my diary since last year will have seen my ‘Christmas Carol’ trilogy over the festive season last year and will have some idea of why I hate Christmas with a passion.

This year, I have decided to try really hard to suspend my own views about the subject and to participate in the festivities with relish. (The only exception to this is the office party, which I will only go to if there is a three-line-whip out…….. in other words if my boss insists!)

To this end, I have already COMPLETED my/our Christmas shopping. (I doubt DM has given a single moment’s thought to what he will buy for me but all of the rest is sorted.) I must say it was helped by a few ‘themes’ that I have been able to develop for all of our family and friends. It was also helped by an hour on my PC a couple of weeks ago and some major on-line shopping. Anyway, one of my Christmas terrors has been dispelled by this because I know that I won’t be spending my Christmas Eve this year wandering around the shops in utter despair because I can’t get any inspiration for presents for people. Hurrah!!!!!!

On a mad dash through Epsom town centre last week to buy a carton of soup and a bread roll for lunch, I was distracted by this advent calendar in a card shop so I nipped in and bought it to help me along. Interestingly a few days later I heard a slot on the Today programme (Radio 4’s finest) complaining about the lack of religious themes on calendars these days. As a committed atheist I actually prefer ‘Seasons Greetings’ cards and non-religious themes so I thought this Spurs one was a real find. I know it might seem odd that a committed atheist is buying an advent calendar but I thought it might help me to build up a bit of excitement in the run-up to Christmas.

Today DM chose to open the first day (I gave him the choice of day 1 or day 24) and inside it was a chocolate with a snowdrop on it. He claims it was delicious. Even though I hate chocolate I will be eating my days, I’m hoping it will kill my cough as I have been led to believe by some recent research – maybe if I go back to eating chocolate I will get rid of the cough that makes me seem like a 40-a-day smoker to those that don’t know me.

Over the twenty four days of advent, I’m going to use the opening of the calendar to open up some of my experiences of the last year and pause to reflect on their importance or otherwise in my life. Sometimes that will be good, happy stuff and other times it will be more of a challenge. Each day I will post a relevant photo and explain the importance of the subject I’ve raised to me and mine.

I’ve got my list of topics but don’t yet know how this will work out – planning that will give me something to think about other than year-end targets and getting through the huge volume of work still expected of me over the next three and a half weeks. Hopefully this’ll help with the stress. How come I am posting now, in the middle of the day if I’m so hard-worked? A snatched five minutes to take the photo and a few minutes generating my ‘story’ while having a cup of tea at lunchtime while working at home.

It’s going to be hard for me to find the inner strength to keep knocking back my own fears and preconceptions and enjoy the festive season but I am determined to do just that. I am determined that the past won’t be biting at my heels this year and that this is a fresh start for me.