I’ve come home tonight with all my stuff for my trip. I even have a company bought suitcase on wheels – now how cool is that? In fact, this is it.

However exciting all of the thoughts are about next weekend….at this time next weekend (time difference allowing) I will be heading towards JFK in Lara’s car to get David for the start of our weekend of madness with Jill, Jeanne, Mark and of course Lara. THAT will be exciting. I can’t wait to see all of them. I feel as though we are such intimate friends yet the only one I’ve even spoken to is the wonderful Jill. Her voice has been the subject of endless conversations between David and I – that wonderful southern drawl….priceless.

For now though, I am filled with….well, fear actually. I am travelling to the USA – a place I’ve never been before (other than a horrible shopping trip to NYC that I don’t count) alone. I won’t see David for five days. I will spend the time in a dark room with a bunch of people who I’ve never met before (most of them anyway).

It may be surprising to some that I really hate travelling. There’s nothing glamorous about airport lounges, hotel rooms that could be anywhere in the world and no fresh air for a week.

I get all knotted up inside and spend my time worrying about forgetting my passport or my work stuff or whether or not I’ve got the right clothes packed.

Making me feel worse this time is that it’s the first time I’ll spend any real time with my new boss who is based in the USA so I suppose I ought to be trying to impress. Her secretary sent me a memo saying the dress code is ‘business casual’ during the day and ‘business elegant’ in the evening. I have to confess to having no idea whatsoever about what either term means and I’ve already lost sleep over the idea of me being able to pull off ‘elegant’ in any sense. I’ll bring out the kittens but I doubt that’ll save me. I’ve never been able to do the effortlessly elegant thing. My hair is always all over the place, no matter what I wear I always spill something on it almost immediately and I need to be bludgeoned out of wearing black all the time. It’s funny that my home is filled with big, bold colour, I always use colour photography yet I never wear anything other than black.

I had to dash to M&S at lunchtime to try to find something to save my reputation….dunno if it’ll work!!!

We poor UK folk (well me anyway) also think of the States as somewhere where everyone carries a gun and you can’t get your camera out without being mugged. It’s that cop show thing I think. I’m so used to NYPD Blue, Hill Street Blues and the rest. I know that must be complete nonsense because all the USA folks on PBASE seem to have DSLRs and never seem worried about using them. My fretting is, I know, stupid and pointless but I can’t help it.

However, I’m sooooooo glad of spending the time in NYC with a bunch of ‘locals’ who will make sure we don’t get into any trouble.

I know that in two days time much of my trepidation will disappear because the experience will prove me wrong but for now I feel very vulnerable and very lonely.