One of my good friends has been a bit quiet lately and I didnít know why. Today he Ďsplurgedí on me. He told me that heís avoiding his home at the moment because heís in the process of splitting up with his girlfriend.
My stomach churned when he said it because I know exactly how miserable life is when you donít feel you can go home. How I feel for him. How I wish I could help. Of course I canít really help because he has to deal with his relationship problems for himself but I did tell him to use me as a sounding board any time he likes. Just gimme a call and Iíll be there to listen and to pass him a Kleenex to mop up his tears if he wants me to.
They have simply drifted apart.
Whatís really hard for him to deal with is that they both still care for one another but are no longer Ďin loveí. Somehow that seems to have increased his anguish Ė heís blaming himself and saying sheís done nothing wrong. Sheís saying sheís unhappy and lonely and he feels the same way. He feels guilty yet heís nothing to feel guilty for.
Itís funny how incredibly lonely it can be when you are in a relationship with no love. There are no words to describe the feeling of emptiness and misery. How much his plight has upset me. You see, Iíve been there and Iíve done that. Itís something that leaves you feeling like youíre an outsider looking in on someone elseís life and drives you to hang around at work for want of a better place to go (mind you that didnít do me any real harm as it really kick-started my career). It made me look for opportunities to stay away, somewhere, anywhere but just not at home.
I like to think of myself as someone whoíll go to the ends of the earth to help people I care about but on this occasion I feel powerless and miserable because I know only he can unravel his feelings and sort out his life.
These occasions make me feel a bit guilty too because things in my life are good now. They also make me appreciate how good, so I came through the door determined to spend this evening with David not on my PC.
I donít want to leave this posting on a sad note so I am reminded of a conversation with another friend yesterday or the day before. She is lucky to be in a long-term relationship that had started when she and her partner were very young yet they were lucky and grew together rather than apart. Thatís what I call a good outcome and maybe about more than just a bit of luck. I wonder how many people can say that?