OK – a confession. I have been driven to the brink of despair this week because my baby has been sick. This morning I went to work for a really critical day (both my first teaching at the school and my first conference with my tutor) believing I would come home to the worst possible news. As you can see, those fears have not been realised.

Lola became ill last weekend. After a lovely weekend when she’d careered around all over the place, being busy, busy, busy (as per normal), she started chucking up on Sunday evening. We didn’t think much of it, dogs occasionally are sick. You clear it up and get on with it. I got more concerned when I got out of bed in the night and stepped into a pile of warm sick. She was sick multiple times all the next day and has eaten nothing since. She’s been back and forth to the vet who can’t find anything wrong but also knows she’s very poorly and had prescribed antibiotics. I’ve been putting a brave face on being worried sick all week.

Today, after a particularly bad night, more vomiting, hiding in her puppy bed under the stairs and being nothing but skin and bone, I couldn’t bear it any longer – she was just like Rosie was in the days before her death. I despatched DM to take her to the vet while I went to school to try to keep my bid to become a teacher alive. I was utterly convinced she wouldn’t be coming home.

The vet was deeply worried. She ended up being an in-patient for the day while she was on a drip to get some hydration into her but got sent home tonight after extensive tests proved that her organs are functioning normally and there is no sign of cancer. The tests are all negative but we still have no diagnosis and she’s still obviously very poorly.

Tonight, she’s a contrary Mary who is desperate to play tennis ball but can’t hold down a meal even if we could get her to want to try. What’s obvious is that she WANTS to play but she’s also exhausted. She’s one impatient patient but at least now I’m less fearful that she’ll be leaving me so soon. I can’t work out where she gets the mad bursts of energy from given that she’s had no nutrition inside her other than the vet’s drip for almost a week.