I am the first person to yell on about doggie rights and it pains me to say that I have been exploiting our own two dogs over the last couple of weeks by leaving them to their own devices for longer than I’d normally like and longer than they have ever experienced in their lives. You see when we both went out to work in the past, I was in the luxurious position of being able to pay someone to sit for my dogs – Jo the naked housekeeper did a sterling job of providing company for Rosie and Archie. Sadly there are no funds for housekeepers or dog sitters in the lives of an ex-trainee teacher and a full-time student.

JD and Lola have never known a time that they’ve been left alone for several days in a row before because either DM or I have always been here for at least part of the day each day. Since I took my exams, I have been working seven days a week and often for long hours so the poor dogs have been on their own for much longer than we’d choose – although of course they do have each other for company and I do come home for lunch each day.

Unfortunately the pressures on my time mean they have been bored and looking for mischief - anyone who has ever owned a collie will know they get bored very easily and the best way to prevent it is to give them plenty to do and to think about. Yesterday, half a bag of salted roasted pistachios (shell on) were devoured, shells and packaging as well as nuts. Today, I came home to find that a bag of toiletries that I’d left on the bathroom floor yesterday had been raided and a dog (almost certainly JD although of course we can’t be completely sure) had eaten a substantial proportion of two bars of soap. Note evidence in photo.

He’s not showing any sign of illness and in fact, as I type, is demolishing a tennis ball with gusto. I am feeling like a bad Mum to these two special critters but for the moment, needs must.