I had a little hen party tonight. No strippers. No penises (other than the ones that were naturally attached to the few blokes in the pub and of course they stayed in the places they should be all evening). Is that clear? What I mean is no hanky panky of any description. No silly outfits. No nonsense.

There were about 10-12 of us (the number varied as folks came and went). We went to the pub, had a few drinks and a meal and chatted. That’s all. It was all rather lovely.

At 1.30am I made my way home, courtesy of Pete the Pirate who was the most kind, chivalrous man and insisted on making sure all us girls got home OK. He did shifts driving us all to our respective homes. What a complete sweetie. He deserves a medal for the kind and patient way he dealt with us all.

This is the stragglers from my party, clockwise from the right, Adele, Alex, Toni and Abi. The interloper is Neil who was making merry behind the bar when I left. I’m not quite sure where Tim is – he seems to have disappeared but he does feature in the other shots in this sequence so I’m sure he was still around.

The girls had decorated the table where we ate with dried roses, balloons and other bits and bobs and the whole thing was just really nice. I didn’t even have a hangover in the morning so that is how sedate it was!

Cluck cluck – not long now……