……..#we’re driving out on a motorway tonight, on a ten-stop, one-star, three-chord wonderland…..do do do do do….don’t try to stop it, don’t try to stop it……..

At the ripe old age of 48 I have learned (for the first time in my completely un-musical life) to play three chords on a musical instrument. This lovely little uke to be precise.

I am hopeless, can’t sing in tune, can’t play any instruments and can’t tell whether something is in tune or not other than by hearing something I know well either played or sung badly.

So, DM has been trying to encourage/cajole/bribe me to try doing a few chords on the uke and who knows whether it was because he’s had his since just after Christmas and has mastered it wonderfully in that time or whether it was just sheer devilment but I decided to bow to the pressure and try some.

I now know (and indeed can remember as I type this the following afternoon) c, c7th and d…..there was also a completely open chord called a minor or something but he said that was as useless to know as a useless thing so I have promptly forgotten its name.

Now I can do it. I can form a band, wear mad clothes, dye my hair a strange shade of puce and go on a rock’n’roll tour. What? You don’t think that’d be right and proper for a woman of my advancing years? You think that rock and roll is the realm of the young? What about the young at heart? What about ageing hippies? What about me? Why can’t I have my five minutes of fame? Why can’t I be big in Japan? Why can’t I be a rock and roll supervixen?

The lyric at the beginning of this is taken from “Don’t try to stop it” by the fabulous and flamboyant Roman Holliday.

Oh and for anyone worrying about the state of my hand, yes, I did have a day off today.