Ramblings of a Retired Mind
(Author unknown - sent around in e-mails)

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones
that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one.
So, I'm wearing my garage door opener.

I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call
blue teeth, I think.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people
didn't like me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on
beer cans!

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you
still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce
it.'

I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age, and call it
'Pumping Rust'.

I've gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest
is falling into your drawers!

When people see a cat's litter box, they always say, 'Oh, have you got
a cat?' Just once I want to say, 'No, it's for company!'

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case
of an emergency. I think you should write, 'A Good Doctor'!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more
as they get older. Then, it dawned on me. They were cramming for their
finals.

As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.

Enjoy Your Days & Love Your Life, Because Life is a journey to be savored.