Angel

And I swear, Angel was there.
And she looked good.
-Mimi

It is rare that I stop to listen to stuff like this.
However, this kid could get a beat going.
Between the 10 gallon plastic pickle tubs
and the metal pans, it was fun.
Bring in da noise, bring in da funk.

I feel vunerable lately. Don't know exactly why.
Part of it was combining all the photo projects since the divorce.
Putting them all in one spot, and then reading through it all.
It has been a long road that I was forced to walk through.
I actually feel a bit bad that I have said some very raw things in these entries.
I feel bad that at some point, my "wife" will probably read them.
She will probably be hurt by some of them.
However, the anger and pain I express within is true.
More true than her vow to me.
Because that is true, I will not hide.
I will not shrink back from this mess.
I will not swollow who I am and how I feel just so she can feel better.
What she did sucks.
Everyone she knows has got to agree that I have a right to be mad at it (and I am).
As my feelings for her went away, I saw it more for what it really was.
I'm not even sure if I am that angry anymore.
I have these little spits of anger, but for the most part, that is subsiding.
It is being replaced with a new joy of life. I'm having fun.
So, back to the original question here, do I feel guilty?

Nah.

I have been exposed.
I have seen color.
I have seen life.
I will never betray myself.
I will not hide.
Here it is world.
I live for me.

Ok, it is not anger, but it might be defiance.