You probably got it wrong today.

I really do hate to be the bearer of bad news.
Sorry to be the one to tell you but you screwed up.
If you got her a Vermont Teddy Bear, she wanted flowers.
If you got her flowers, she is bummed about no Teddy Bear.
If you took her out to dinner she wanted jewelry.
If you got her jewelry she wanted a trip.
If you took her on a trip she just wanted a card.
And if you just got her a card, you're fucked.

Such are the rules of the puke Hallmark Holiday.
You can't help but fail because the deck is stacked.
It will just get worse over the years as you top the last one.
And you had better top the last one pal or again, fucked.

So how do you not fail?
Have Buffy be your girlfriend.
But I'm sorry because you are too late.
Buffy is a little busy with me right now.
One year ago I wrote an entry about Valentines.
I wrote how I finally could not fail.
I could not fail because I was alone.
This year is just as crazy though.
I am with someone and I still can't fail.
No crazy expectations on either of us.
Life is REALLY good when you can't fail.
This is the best card I have ever been given.
So I invite all of you to do the same as Buffy.
Actually tell your significant other "Bullshit".
If you need a made up day to express how you feel,
well you have bigger problems than failure on this day.
Better luck next year, Bwhahahahaha.

PS: I hope my "EX" is miserable today.
I hope her tea is cold and her toast is burned.
OK, I don't actually give a crap what her toast is like today.
That thought just came to me while making breakfast for two.
I was thinking how happy I was at this moment in my life.
I know that was not her intention when she dumped me.
I mean after all, who wouldn't want better than me (Hahahahaha).
She didn't care two shits about me then,
and Buffy can't thank her enough for that ;-)