"This is your pilot speaking. Welcome to 173rd AHC, Air Robinhood, Flight 13. We will be flying at an altitude of not-high-enough enroute to our destination in the Hell-Hole otherwise known as the Iron Triangle. Due to the short duration of today's flight, there will be no food or beverage service in the Main Cabin. The Crew Chief will pass through the cabin handing out Korean War-vintage salt tablets. Today's in-flight film is "VD, the Gift That Keeps On Giving". Please ignore the “fasten seatbelt” signs, since you don’t have any. Those of you with your legs dangling out the doors, please don’t exit the aircraft until we are within 10 feet of the ground. In the unlikely event of a water landing, nothing on this sucker floats - either swim for your lives or kiss your asses goodbye! Check the aircraft for all weapons, ammunition and other belongings when you disembark. On behalf of my copilot and our door-gunners, I’d like to thank you for choosing Air Robinhood for your travel needs today. We sincerely hope that all of you make the return trip with us at the end of this operation, but you can bet your ass that if any of you need extraction before then, we'll fly through the Gates of Hell, guns blazing, to make the pickup."