HOW FIGHTS START:
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
Senior Jewish Poker Club
Seven retired Jewish Floridian fellows were playing poker in the condo clubhouse, when Meyer loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.
Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other six continue playing, but standing up.
At the end of the game, Finklestein looks around and asks : "So, who's gonna tell his wife?"
They cut the cards. Goldberg picks the low card and has to carry the news.
They tell him: "Be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse."
"Discreet? I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet.
Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me."
Goldberg goes over to Meyer's condo and knocks on the door.
The wife answers through the door and asks what he wants?
Goldberg declares: "Your husband just lost $500 in a poker game and is afraid to come home."
"Tell him to drop dead!" yells the wife.
"I'll go tell him." says Goldberg.
Truth is out there for those of you who are not blinded by mindless Liberalism. Seek ye the truth ..........., and the truth
It's been a BADDDDDD Winter
Karma, it can be a bitch!
HOT AND COLD SEX
After his exam the doctor asked the elderly man: "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?"
"In fact, I do," said the old man. "After I have sex with my wife, I am usually cold and chilly, and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am usually hot and sweaty."
Later, after examining the man's elderly wife, the doctor said: "Everything appears To be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"
She replied that she had no questions or concerns.
The doctor then said to her:
"Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually cold and chilly after having sex with you the first time, and then hot and sweaty after the second time. Do you know why?"
"Oh that crazy old fool " she replied.
That's because the first time is usually in January and the second time is in August."
I wish I was in the land of cotton.
Now that right there is puny.
Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London . Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.
2/9 "LIBERAL LOGIC 1.....wait, liberals lack logic.