(THUMBNAIL IMAGES ARE BELOW THE TEXT)

I often attempt to reach higher levels of consciousness ("Enlightenment") by becoming one with the environment. This is in line with the somewhat incoherent teachings of The Bhagwan Hotair Windbag of Antelope, who is my spiritual guru.

My desire to achieve Enlightenment comes primarily from reading "The Sacred Paths to Oneness," an inscrutable philosophical treatise written by the Bhagwan himself. (See note at bottom.) This publication is a compelling compilation of concepts creatively covered in the Bhagwan's sermons, speeches, retreats, and off-hours seminars.

In the ramblings on page 1348 of the aforementioned publication the Bhagwan states that Enlightenment is most easily reached by becoming One With The Rock. Various types of rock are suitable candidates for Blessed Unification, but Moabian sandstone---found only around Moab, Utah---is the best Psychic Gateway because of its high psychoramic quotient.

However, the Journey to Nirvana is long and difficult and is not for the faint of heart. Footnote 71 of page 1348 explains why. There the Bhagwan says that the Blessed Devotee must press his or her body against a vast expanse of Moabian sandstone for at least 7.1 hours, remaining motionless the entire time. If, while doing that, the devotee rids his or her mind of all Earthly thoughts, he or she can reach levels of consciousness heretofore thought ridiculous or impossible.

Meditation has long been known in Eastern societies to offer routes to Knowledge. When used in the manner prescribed by the Bhagwan, Enlightenment is within one's grasp.

The documentation of my efforts to achieve Enlightenment is made possible by the steady support of my non-psychic photographic assistant, Joe Tripod. Although he meditates in absolute stillness, he is somewhat skeptical of the Bhagwan's teachings. I do not hold it against him.

This assortment of photographs is shared with the surfing public not to further the financial gain of the Bhagwan's publishing enterprise (wwwwww. The-Bhagwan-Loves-Your-Money.org) but to make the world a better place. Amen.

NOTE:
Lest the casual reader suffer a regrettable misunderstanding, I must clarify something about the writing process employed by the Bhagwan. The Bhagwan does not write or type the text, as it is beneath his dignity to do so. That menial act---among others---is performed by members of his Blessed Corps of Nubile Private Secretaries. The secretaries transcribe his spoken words into written words, using BhagwanWord software. Many private sessions of dictation are required to record all the relevant information. Rumor has it that there are occasional interruptions in which the secretaries aid the Bhagwan in another form of dictation, after which the Bhagwan desires a period of Blessed Relaxation. The transcribed words are made available to the Bhagwan's Blessed Publisher, who produces the books in great quantity and distibutes them to the Bhagwan's many Blessed Bookstores. Amen.

Newest uploads are at the TOP of the gallery.