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Dave Beedon | all galleries >> Places >> Utah >> Arches National Park >> Arches NP: Miscellaneous > Sacrificial altar (for sacrificing one's Earthly thoughts)
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Sacrificial altar (for sacrificing one's Earthly thoughts)

Arches National Park (Moab, Utah)

Getting rid of Earthly thoughts is one way to achieve a Higher Plane of Existence.
This is documented profusely by the Bhagwan Hotair Windbag of Antelope in his
lengthy philosophical treatise "The Sacred Paths to Oneness."

On page 1348 of the aforementioned text the Bhagwan ruminates on the benefit of "sacrificing"
one's mundane thoughts as preparation for realizing concepts of a more spiritual nature.
This has much in common with the meditation practiced by yogis. But what the Bhagwan knows
that the yogis do not know is that the path to a Blessed Empty Brain is most efficiently
pursued by the use of Moabian sandstone, a rock unique in the world for its spiritual
powers. Moabian sandstone, naturally, is found only around Moab, Utah.

My understanding of this is weak, but I am able to state with a high degree of confidence that
Moabian sandstone can---in laymen's terms---"suck the brain dry" if that is what is desired.
It has something to do with the rock's high psycoramic quotient, which comes from its
divine crystalline structure. The details are beyond human comprehension.

Learning is a life-long adventure. Knowledge leads to Nirvana. Achieving a higher plane of existence
through the emptying of one's brain is a sure-fire way to tread the Exhalted Path. Now you can
appreciate why I laid down on this sandstone altar during my exploration of what I call the "straight drainage."

Following the instructions of the Bhagwan, I laid here motionless for the required 7.1 hours, using
every moment to cleanse my brain of thoughts, ideas, concepts, theories, corollaries, adages, and
sayings (and anecdotes about brevity in writing). It was exhilarating! All sorts of knowledge came
my way during this exercise, the most valuable of which was understanding the formula for computing
the optimum depth and spacing of "wake-up grooves" in the shoulders of highways.

As you can imagine, the effort was physically exhausting---so much so that it produced in me
a "psychic spasm." That jolted me out of my reverie and allowed Earthly thoughts to once again
fill the void between my ears. After consuming vast quantities of Bhagwanade to replenish my
psychic electrolytes, I was able to continue my trek to its logical conclusion.

The documentation of this episode would not have been possible without the
steady, down-to-Earth support of my photographic assistant, Joe Tripod. His
meditation is limited to being still so that my camera is still.
.


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Dave Beedon07-May-2009 05:13
I'm going to fall back and re-group.
Guest 06-May-2009 20:52
Dave, I did not attack your beliefs. I was merely trying to save you some time and effort by shocking you into a realization. I admit that it didn't work with me when I tried it, but I am a hard case. I didn't mean to insult your guru, but any teacher that needs 5555 pages to say something is immediately suspect. I suggest that you send him the Gettysburg address as a subtle hint that Truth requires few words. Regarding amusing surfers, where does it end? Before you know it, you will be photographing yourself wearing silly hats and chic trail outfits.
Dave Beedon06-May-2009 03:46
Steve, I must now spring into action to rebut your attack on my beliefs:
1. The issue is not that I am unwilling to risk life and limb; I do that as a matter of principle (http://www.pbase.com/image/101022854 ). The issue is whether I am willing to take a shortcut to Enlightenment (I am not).
2. The Bhagwan is not a "wag," and I am shocked that you would refer His Extraneousness in that manner. In addition, he would not agree with the concept you proposed, as described dutifully and devoutly in divine detail (duh!) on page 1348 of "The Sacred Paths to Oneness."
3. Joe Tripod does not get involved with pseudo-philosophical banter, so your suggestion is not only slanderous, but also moot.
4. Yes, I did admit to faking a photo and even declared a lack of repentance for it. But recall that I did it for a good cause: the continued amusement of surfers. There is no "good reason" for cheating.
Amen.
Guest 05-May-2009 22:53
Dave, risking your life in the pursuit of Transcendence is not cheating but is in fact the essential precondition for experiencing It. You must be willing to lose your life to find it, so to speak. Even that wag Bhagwan woud agree to that. Besides, there is some literary consonance between the "light" socket and Enlightenmnt, don't you agree? I bet Joe his nodding his head in agreement. Moreover, regarding cheating, didn't you just admit to faking a photo?
Dave Beedon05-May-2009 19:52
Thank you, Steve. At first glance, the "light socket" method sounded promising. But upon reflection I realized that it borders on "cheating": if Enlightenment can be obtained with so little effort, it might not be worth pursuing. The Bhagwan stresses (on page 1348 of "The Sacred Paths to Oneness") that "Enlightenment achieved at little cost is a sham inside a ruse inside a con job." Engaging in anything approximating a con job is anathema to me, as you can probably discern from my writings on PBase. Saving the cost of travel to Utah would certainly do wonders for my pocketbook but is moot, as I am obliged to leave home periodically to maintain marital harmony. (When She Who Must Be Obeyed says "Go," I go.) Saving the cost of the book is also moot, as I have autographed copies of all the Bhagwan's writings. Please continue to offer advice and suggestions, even if they fly in the face of common sense.
Guest 05-May-2009 17:33
Dave, you have to rid your mind of all concepts--including "concepts of a more spiritual nature." The best way to do this is to stick your finger in a light socket. If you survive the experience, your mind will have been emptied of all thoughts and you will have the rare opportunity to directly experience Enlightenment. Even better, you will save the cost of a trip to Utah and the purchase of a copy of Bhagwan's religious writings (not to mention the time it takes to read them!).
Guest 27-Mar-2009 23:51
Dave, I met a friend of yours in the woodshttp://www.pbase.com/dan_123/image/110658234
Jason Anderson20-Mar-2009 03:36
I met a high llama once, he couldn't stop giggling or spitting.

It looks like you've successfully altared your consciousness, Dave. I see the telltale green fuzzy halo above the sandstone.
Dave Beedon19-Mar-2009 22:51
Larry, your copy must be a cheap imitation, completely unauthorized. I advise you to dispose of it and order another copy direct from the Bhagwan's publishing empire (mention my name and get a discount). The Bhagwan refuses to acknowledge the relevance of the High Llama (HL) because their philosophies are not in Blessed Harmony. For example---and this is off the record---the HL has declined an invitation to contribute to the Help the Bhagwan Remodel His Concubine Dormitory Fund. While the Bhagwan is a deeply religious person, he believes that some wrongs simply cannot be forgiven. For this reason his publishing arm refuses to incorporate forewords, prefaces, quotes, indexes (indices), glossaries, tables of contents, copyright pages, figures, or illustrations that were created, supplied, or recommended by the HL.

John, please do not speak of the Bhagwan in such demeaning ways. I have referred the matter of the linked page to my large and successful legal department for resolution (restitution).
jCross19-Mar-2009 22:35
correctedhttp://www.pbase.com/image/110400230
jCross19-Mar-2009 22:11
Blessed Tithing Commitment?? I believe that the Bhagwan's definition of a proper tithe goes somewhat like "What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine". Like the US government.
1moremile19-Mar-2009 21:30
My copy is probably a bootleg. It's forward is written by the High Llama.
Dave Beedon19-Mar-2009 00:53
Exzim, the copy I have has 5555 pages and was given to me by the Bhagwan himself, once I had renewed my Blessed Tithing commitment. "The Sacred Paths to Oneness" exists only in a non-condensed, unexpurgated edition. There is no such thing as a Reader's Digest version---condensing the work would distort the Bhagwan's philosophy in the same way that television sound bites distort what people say. The Notner Public library failed to make a Blessed Donation to the Help the Bhagwan Remodel His Concubine Dormitory Fund, so it did not receive permission to place his work on display or make it available for circulation. Heads in Notner will roll.

John Cross---what are you talking about? You know I would never wear a kilt.
1moremile18-Mar-2009 20:56
There's no way anyone could know that, Exzim, unless they have stolen the sacred copy.
exzim18-Mar-2009 14:52
I f your copy of the sacred book has only 5555 pages you have the Reader's Digest version, published without copyright approval. The original has 11110 pages, and is stored as an object of veneration in the Notner Public Library.
jCross18-Mar-2009 12:41
Hey, guys, I think Dave is getting a touch defensive. I think this "oneness" jazz has quite literally knocked him a bit off kilter. Or a bit more off kilter, depending on your perspective.
Dave Beedon18-Mar-2009 08:48
exzim---I hate to disappoint you, but your edition of "The Sacred Paths to Oneness" is an unauthorized, unsanctioned, unapproved, and unreliable cheap knock-off of the original. Canada---a country that sits in the glorious shadow of the United States of America---is infested with these tomes of degradation. How do I know? The true book has only 5555 pages, which quite co-incidentally is the number of times I once bounced on a pogo stick. Thus one cannot rely on the advice or conclusions presented in the book you possess. The acid content of its pages makes the book an excellent fire-starter.

To those who fear for my safety I say "Don't worry---be happy!

John Cooper---I deleted one of my duplicate comments to avoid looking like an idiot, rendering your comment somewhat confusing to some readers.

chempilot---My boob tube memories concern a pipe around which was wrapped a copy of Playboy magazine.

dan---it is in very bad taste to use the Bhagwan's title in such a manner---it is always capitalized!

Lee---I prefer to think of myself as a human barnacle.
exzim18-Mar-2009 02:07
I think this photo is a fake. On page 7890 of the "The Sacred Paths to Oneness." it shows that if the mind is truly empty, the resulting vacuum will cause the body to float above the altar. and on page 8921 it specifically warns about wearing dark coverings over the eyes, which prevent the thoughts truly escaping.
1moremile17-Mar-2009 21:32
PRIVATE COMMENT:
Dave, I concur with John.
Having watched probably the same burial, (it on Comcast on demand) I fear for your safety.
Guest 17-Mar-2009 01:47
i used to worship at the altar of Yogi the Bear. he came to me early on saturday mornings while emptying my mind with a sacred worshiping device known as the boob tube....
Guest 16-Mar-2009 21:59
I tried to shoot a goose, but I couldn't bagwhan....
Lee G16-Mar-2009 16:38
or just a human clam on the half shell of sandstone.
John Cooper16-Mar-2009 14:28
Watch the sky carefully Dave. This scene is very close to when I watched a Sky Burial in Tibet. As soon as you see some black specks in the sky, get out of there fast. Or else in thirty minutes you will be a red stain on the red rock.
John Cooper16-Mar-2009 14:16
Dave,
r.e your two previous comments, I would just like to say "Repetition is the essence of Monotony".
Being an Englishman, I too often wonder what it is like to be toiling under the curse of British Citizenship.
Dave Beedon16-Mar-2009 09:21
Not infrequently do the slightly incoherent teachings of the Bhagwan come under fire. His devotees are often subject to being misunderstood, derided, or shunned for their beliefs. On page 1348 of "The Sacred Paths to Oneness" the Bhagwan explains that such responses to his Wonderful Method are best handled with grace and charity. Thus I accept and pray for those troubled souls who suffer in their own way, whether that suffering is being burdened with a fetish for ropes and granite, or having to claim the Lone Star State as one's place of residence, or toiling daily under the curse of British citizenship. Amen.
jCross16-Mar-2009 05:07
Dave: On page 1856 it says that any idiot who believes this crap is destined for an eternal existence in Notner.
John Cooper16-Mar-2009 00:19
Dave, are you sure you are not a politician, with a report like this you must at least work for some government department. Nothing les than the xxx, or the xxx.
This is psyops at its finest.
The Third Side15-Mar-2009 23:56
Totally awesome man ! Being able to achieve a scared path to oneness by laying motionless on Moabian sandstone is quite a feat.

However, I've found 30 minutes in front of TV to be just as effective at brain-draining.
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