I’m not entirely sure why I like this shot so much but I do. Maybe it’s the newspaper headline that was there accidentally but once seen, composed to ensure its readability. Maybe it’s the slightly furtive look or possibly even the hint of a time gone by. Maybe it's just that I like the idea of yesterday's news becoming today's photography props.

Despite lying in bed last night thinking I’d better make sure all my pics for the next week are really “top notch” (in as much as any of my pics are top notch) so that I can go out on Friday believing that I didn’t just tail off at the end, I found myself at 7pm tonight with no pic and no plan.

This was because my day crumpled unexpectedly when visitors arrived unannounced (normally the happiest of events in my world but as I’ve said before, I need to psyche myself up for people at the moment) this afternoon, while I was on the sofa watching my beloved Spurs get a beating (via the running Sky Sports commentary, at least I was spared the pictures to go with the commentary.

The folks who popped in to see us we don’t know well, though we’re associated with them through a common interest. Last time they came to see us, I was tucked out of sight in the bedroom when they arrived so I just hid until they left. Today they were in before I could escape. It’s not that they’re not perfectly nice folks, just that I’m a bit scared of the world at the moment.

I put on my best brave face and offered a cup of tea (as you do), which was accepted and our guests were engaging us in conversation, you know the sort of thing…..

“how are you?”

“how is work?”

That’s the problem you see, I can’t work out what to say to those two questions. I find myself reluctant to start splurging out the truth in the flesh to people I don’t know well. I know only too well what it’s like to make a polite enquiry about someone’s health only to realise half-an-hour later that it was a BAD question given that I’ve subsequently had half-an-hour of description of the piles operation or the divorce or the angina.

So I sort of said “OK” to the first question, thinking to myself “now that’s not really true is it?” Then I said “oh I’m off work at the moment” to the second question, which of course led to a “why is that?”

At this point I start to sweat, stammer and say “oh do you mind if we don’t go there”. Now I feel several things (in no particular order):

A liar
A fool
Guilty
Pathetic
….well, I’m sure you get the drift…..

The rest of the day was spent hunched on the sofa in a panic…..”what’ll they think of me, I’m so crap, I’m so stupid”. “Do you think they’ll think I’m rude, uncaring, inconsiderate?”

So, at 7pm, I had let it all get to me so much that I’d not got a pic or an idea then DM got out his Rodinal to develop a film that he’s run through two Olympus Trips today (David Bailey, who’s he?”) OK then, this is it, my one chance of a half-decent idea for today’s pic, zero-6. Phew, just about did it by the skin of my teeth. Like I said, I quite like the way it’s turned out despite the circumstances and my promises to myself to do good studio shots for my last week.

Last year, my beautiful boy had left me for another. I'm pleased to report, i am now back to the No 1 spot in his affections, though he still loves Mo!