I know the photography purists will hate this shot because it’s a lensbaby shot and while I think they’re cute in much the same way as my starburst lens, I know that’s not a popular view!

Anyway, the shot has a richness and colourfulness that belies how I’m feeling, which is as gloomy as a gloomy thing.

Did you know I’m getting a gong in the Queen’s New Year’s honours list…..and without a donation to the labour party under my own or anyone else’s name! Yep, it’s true I’m getting a MOGBE (Miserable Old Git of the British Empire) award for services to the pharmaceutical industry’s anti-depressant sales. Actually – don’t take that too seriously, I’ve not yet quite got as far as drugs at the moment.

Actually, just in case anyone out there does not recognise all that as complete fantasy, I will retract it straight away……

DM has been saying things to me like “you can’t get back into the same routine as before” because he’s got my health at heart, whereas I just keep thinking “nothing will ever be the same again” because I know I’ve shown a weakness that’s been publicly exposed and therefore my logic tells me that my career is effectively over. So, I just keep on thinking I start 2008 on the scrapheap of business or in the burning embers of my business world. Washed up, burned out and otherwise done for…..with tassels on or knobs on or whatever other phrase comes to mind.

Last year, I'd had all of my toys taken away....