As you may recall, I'm fascinated by the strange quirks of fate that cause accidents in a manner that some might regard as ghoulish. I have written on this subject before, following a news item on the Today programme one morning last year talking about the rise in 'trouser-related incidents'.
Today, my curiosity has been aroused again by some stats that came my way (I'm not aware of the source because the text had been 'cut and pasted' from another document). Apparently of the 1.2 million 'accidents' reported in this exercise, around 75,000 of them were 'knife-related' and 29,000 'alcohol-related' as you might expect - I wonder how much cross-over there was with 'alcohol and knife' related ones!
Both my colleague who sent me the document and I can relate to the 1,000 'Christmas-related disasters', from which we both suffer on a very regular (if infrequent....I.E. once a year) basis. If you add in alcohol and knife to that I'd say that there has been more than one occasion when I've nearly (though never quite) been driven to a 'knife-related' incident at Christmas while under the influence of alcohol.....I wonder what that says?
The best bit though is when you go further down the list - one imagines that the 6,000-odd 'baby-related accidents' don't include unplanned pregnancies? If it does, then I'd say the number should be way higher!
When you get down to the bottom of the list forty nine people were injured in an accident involving 'Fairy Liquid' - I'm not sure if Fairy is a global brand so just in case you're thinking it might be some sort of amphetamine-based sex-aid, it's actually a liquid detergent suitable for 'washing up' the dishes. I'd love to know how one can injure oneself using Fairy Liquid and have spent a pleasant day trying to imagine scenarios when that might have an application.
Eighty-four people were injured in accidents involving 'Pot Noodles' - again, I'm not sure if this brand is available elsewhere in the world but suffice to say that it's a nasty dried 'snack', full of chemical additives and with very few, no, make that no redeeming qualities. It comes in a tall pot, into which you pour boiling water, stir, leave to hydrate and eat.......if you dare. I'm intrigued about whether the accidents are from scalds from the boiling water or from people using them as ammunition......which in my view is a much better thing to do with a Pot Noodle than to EAT one.
Best of all though, especially given the relative weight given to fireworks accidents by our esteemed Government who broadcast ads each year talking about firework injuries and safety, is the stat that says more people were injured in 'wheelie bin' accidents (over 800 of them) than in firework accidents (around 500 of them). My imagination has been in overdrive as to how it is possible to injure yourself on a wheelie bin. Perhaps we should ask RoSPA (Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents) to lobby the government for a health education campaign in safe wheelie bin use. Picture this - 'WARNING' Wheelie bins are dangerous. In order to prevent accidents with wheelie bins, be sure to only operate them when sober, not carrying a knife or at Christmas. Try to avoid disposing of your Pot Noodle packet or your Fairy Liquid bottle in your wheelie bin to protect against accident..............
A year ago, I lost my heart and two years ago I was among friends!
