I was thrilled to get the opportunity to meet so many wonderful folks in California, not for the first time DM and I have asked a great deal of people in terms of asking them to travel a huge distance to meet up with us.

Cheryl was at the top of my list of people because, well, she’s really nice. She also flattered the hell out of me when she told me that my diary had inspired her own potd and I think she’s doing some wonderful stuff recently so for me to have been her reason to start makes me feel really good.

It never for a single moment occurred to me that she might think I’d judge her by what was on her outside and so I was deeply disturbed to get a panic pmail saying that I was not to expect too much from her……..WHAT? So she’s telling me she’s no Angelina Jolie – well surely she realises neither am I!!!

While browsing I found this…..

‘What is REAL?’ asked the rabbit one day when they were lying side-by-side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. ‘Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?’

‘Real isn’t how you are made’ said the skin horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’

‘Does it hurt?’ asked the rabbit.

‘Sometimes’ said the skin horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’

‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound-up’ he asked ‘or bit-by-bit?’

‘It doesn’t happen all at once’ said the skin horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been rubbed off and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand’.

Margery Williams – The Velveteen Rabbit.

This is so true – real people are in all shapes and forms and are no less beautiful because of it. Someone once described me as having ‘an ugly personality’ and it’s true, that by this definition of ‘Real’ then I can never achieve this status and therefore can never be sure of not being ugly (either inside or out). No child will ever love me for a long, long time and that’s what the skin horse says you need. So, I have not the right qualifications to become Real and therefore protect myself from ugliness.

Cheryl has though – she has known the love of children for a long, long time. She is, therefore Real and very lovely indeed. I wanted her to know this absolutely and without any room for doubt.

Later, I received another similar email from Susie. What is it with women that we are so insecure? Susie too knows the love of children for a long, long time and therefore she too is Real and protected from ugliness.

My photo is symbolic for all of us ‘mature’ women. It’s old wine. It’s been maturing in the bottle for years and has lost its harsh purpleness and its acidic taste. Its colour has softened and warmed. Its flavour has deepened and become richer. It is no less fun and is every bit as intoxicating as a young wine but it has two things that young wine never has. It has character and depth.

So tonight I celebrate Cheryl, Susie and all of the women of the world who worry about fading looks, weight and grey hair. A single word - don’t. We have something to celebrate, not hide.


BTW - I'm practicing my lighting techniques - DM said I needed to polish them up.

Last year I was setting foot in New Jersey for the first time.