I took a photo very similar to this last year and used it for my PotD. In those days, I was using the close-up lenses I sent to Jill recently and a less good camera than the one I have now. My background was the white work surface in the kitchen and my lighting was an anglepoise lamp.

I’d loved the photo when I’d originally done it and so I’d used it in my calendar for the NYC girls. When I printed it, many of the imperfections that you don’t see on screen became apparent to me, such as the prism effect along the edges of the papery bits and the fact that I couldn’t get the white of the work surface right without losing much of the garlic.

For my new project, I’d decided I wanted the shot but recognised that I needed to re-shoot to make me happier with the image. It’s so important that these photos for this project are up-to-scratch because I can’t bear the thought of my boss rejecting them. I will be crushed if that happens!

There are times when I find that projects are incredibly difficult to start but once I get going they become easier. This one is the opposite. I’ve got several of the shots ‘in the bag’ but I can’t motivate myself to finish them. I think it’s because I’m so worried about the possibility of failure. When it was just a ‘girl from nowhere’ taking photos for her diary and her friends it didn’t seem so daunting. Now though, I’m hyper-critical of my own work and terrified of rejection.

This shot is certainly much better than version 1 of the picture but I’ve no idea whether I’ll feel it’s up to the new standards I’m setting myself when I look back in the morning.

I must get on with the project or I’ll end up with egg on my face anyway because I promised my boss I’d do it but I’m so filled with self-doubt and anxiety about it that I’m loathe to take a picture for the project at the moment.

Now I’ve got 5-6 of the 15 shots I need done but the rest just seem so hugely complex.

Tomorrow I keep promising myself, tomorrow’s the day I start in earnest. Tomorrow I’ll feel like it. Tomorrow, I’ll see the perfect thing to go in a shot. Tomorrow I’ll be a better photographer than I am today. We all know though that tomorrow never comes……