OK – first point out of obvious – crap and extremely beige photo.

Next comes the fact that I excuse this total cop-out on the basis that I have been sitting working on a lab report about things that make seaweed explode for ever and a day – well, pretty much constantly for the last fortnight and today’s session started at 7am and I have only stopped briefly for lunch, to prepare supper and at the same time get myself a photo.

There is a good bit though. This is quite simply the best gadget ever to be had at the Ideal Home Exhibition. I’ve got one, my Mum has got one, I even believe my little sister has one. I’ve always found it extremely useful. You put the needle in the hole, push the red button across to the left, drop the thread into the slot then let the red button go. The button propels a tiny hook through the needle’s eye where it picks up the thread and pulls it through the eye, thus threading the needle in an instant instead of hours of increasingly frustrated poking at the eye with a licked bit of thread. You may think that’s not very exciting but believe me if you sew a lot it’s a boon.

I always had perfect eyesight and still found it a hard thing to do without this gadget. Nowadays, my short-distance sight is shocking. I have a pair of specs permanently welded to the top of my head because I can’t read at all without them. In fact, to set up this pathetic attempt at a PAD I couldn’t even see the hole the needle drops into well enough to put the needle in… and then I put the needle in upside down because I couldn’t see the eye. Oh how age creeps up on you and takes away your dignity!

My bloody seaweed will hopefully be handed in tomorrow and then my dissertation will, with luck and a following wind, the next day. Then I will have two more pieces of coursework to go and the exams before I finish my degree. It’s racing towards me so fast I’m feeling dizzy! I will have my supper in a few minutes then probably work until 10pm, by which time my working day will have been 14 hours (excluding meal times).

You know what they say about all work and no play? I can point out the obvious and tell you it's absolutely true.