19-JUN-2005
Energy
There is something in this world that creates an energy unlike any other. A feeling that may come with friendship, bonding or a union with another. Should we say, Love? The word which has so many meanings? I mean psychology depicts love as a cognitive and social phenomenon. Phenomenon? I'll go with... But what connects people, why do people come together, cross paths and sometimes when the time is perfect, follow down the same paths? And more than that, when feelings are that strong what breaks them apart? Will any of us ever know.
One thing is for sure, those of us that have had or still have this energy, it's unreal. Undescribable even! With out this energy I believe the world would just fall apart. If people didn't have this beautiful sense of touch or find things as beautiful as we do.... well... Let's face it. We wouldn't care. And sometimes when these things are taken from a soul, we may fall into that not caring place. However, what we all need to do is look at what came of it. Look at the lives you may have changed or are still changing and know, that no matter what the outcome was or is... It's a very beautiful thing... Dare we say magical?
~ Shine on ~
Tim
20-JAN-2006
Cindy&David (25).JPG
The Power Of Touch…
Photos have a way of capturing people, the smiles, the looks, the eyes… But there is something missing… There’s one thing that a photo can’t do… And that’s the power of touch. It can capture it but in my opinion has no way of sharing it. When you look at photo of a great big smile, most likely, you smile as well. When there’s a shot that pulls the energy from someones eyes and shares it with the world you can find yourself caught with in that energy… But again, a touch. It can be cute, make you say awwwwww or wish you had a person to hold but nothing. Not a single thing is as powerful as a real touch….
( From Wikipedia )
Touching another person is a form of physical intimacy and nonverbal communication. It can be both sexual and platonic, as in the cuddlebuddy relationship. Touching oneself can be autoerotic.
Conversely, striking, pushing, pulling, pinching, kicking, strangling and hand-to-hand fighting are forms of touch in the context of physical abuse. In a sentence like "I never touched him/her" or "Don't you dare to touch him/her" the term touch may be meant as euphemism for either physical abuse or sexual touching.
Human babies have been observed to have enormous difficulty surviving if they do not possess a sense of touch, even if they retain sight and hearing. Babies who can perceive through touch, even without sight and hearing, fare much better. Touch can be considered a basic sense in that nearly all life forms have a response to being touched, while only a subset have sight and hearing.
One can also be emotionally touched. In this metaphorical sense it refers to some action or object that evokes a sad or joyful emotion. For example, to say "I was touched by your letter" would imply the reader felt joy or sadness when reading it.
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So now that we have that all cleared up… We are maybe thinking, right at this exact moment, that a simple touch would be so wonderful. I know I am… I also know that the energy one can acquire through touch is the best feeling in the world. Thinking back through the years, when I was 4 or 5 and my father would sit next to me on the bed with his hand resting on my back up to 6 months ago while holding my fathers hand saying good by while his soul prepared to move onto better places. Two total extremes but the energy can still bring back so many feelings. Feelings that I can only hope I am able to share with my family when I give a hug, hold a hand or pat a back…
And it doesn’t have to stop there, it doesn’t have to stop at family. Share your touch, when you shake a strangers hand, put your energy into it, let it be known that you’re happy to have met that person, no matter what, your energy will be felt. And when you hug a new acquaintance or lost friend, Got Damn It! Hug them! Don’t just throw your arms around them and go on with your day, HUG THEM! Let them feel it. Share in their life. It doesn’t have to mean you’re going to climb into bed with them. It just has to be shared, your energy has to be shared… So Share it! Because you never know what that hug, the touch on the shoulder, that handshake or so much more will do for the other person. It may just save their life….
January 15th 2007
Okay, so it's time. 2007 is here. I don't know where 2006 went but I believe that I can honestly say that I'm happy it's gone.
Which again, brings us back to 2007. The year of change, at least that's what I'm calling it.
"The Year Of Change"
It's time for a studio, it's time to get back on my bike, it's time to create more of Tim... It's time to leave all the 2006 and some of the 2005 crap behind.
Other than that, it's the middle of January and there still hasn't been any snow, next, I'm going to be a whopping 30 in 9 days.. WOOO HOOOOOO..... I have a bunch of work and shoots starting to come together and am totally amped up. One of the shoots is for Brett Dennen, www.brettdennen.com and it should be a total blast! We'll see if it can top the Everyone Orchestra show... We'll see.....
For now that's it. I'm going to head because I know if I don't I'll be going off in an entirely different direction...
So enjoy!
December 17th 2006
This image was taken in the old Collins Company down the hill from my house in the historic town of Collinsville. A town that I never believed existed, where everyone is always happy and grooving along to life. We have these hidden treasures all over not to mention the farmington river making the town what it is.
But that's not what this is about, this is about the bond that mother and daughter have that is untouchable. It's shows that a single mother can not only support but also love and grow with her child. And what's even better is David who is accepting both of these beautiful souls into his life on January 20th. Surely to be the winter wedding of all winter weddings. Now the thing here goes back to what I'm talking about though, about how the mold has been broken. The mold that so many of us were raised on with the TV showing us all what the "true family" should be. Not what a true family could be. Adopting children, same sex marriages, single parents. That's all what life is about. It's about love, connection and uniting as a team no matter what others thing, believe or are willing to accept. And I can say that I am truly happy and blessed to grow up with the families I did, families that accepted all as individual souls.
Souls that all know how to love....
November 10th 2006
Two. That seems to be the magic number, two hands, two legs, two ears... Two People.
And it's two people that can make the strongest connection around. They can unite turning their energy into one. The love, the kindness and the friendship. It's this that so many strive for. It's this that so many have. It's this that we all should be a part of. I know I am. I know there's a certain someone in my life that makes it all worth every minute, every second. The smiles. The words. The touches. It's this reason I wake up every morning knowing everything will be ok and go to sleep knowing tomorrow will bring another gift. The gift being the energy we make with one another, for one another.
Am I crazy? Am I wrong? Do we not love to have a certain someone in our lives? Some one to trust, and to help. From catching a mouse and so much more. It's life... And it's this life that I will enjoy for every day. Knowing that this person is out there.
Out side of those thoughts I have nothing today. But it makes me think when I take a picture like this one of two different souls in the works of becoming one....
November 4th 2006
Time has gone by and many thoughts have flowed in and unfortunately flowed back out. Some with serious contemplation and others with out, through this time a couple things have hit me about photos and life and the world around us.
The first thing I'm going to say is that the eyes are the power and the window to the soul, or so they say. And while people have some great portraits with great smiles and glowing eyes I think to myself that so many shots are looked over because their eyes were closed. Yet think about what happens when you come back in contact with an old friend, you smile, you hug and I'm going out on a limb to say that most of the time your eyes are closed through this beautiful hug? So would you let the photo go because your eyes were closed or would you know that it was out of love and happiness and magical energy your eyes were closed? Holding the photo near for years to come? Or when a father hugs his children his eyes will close in love and comfort. It's that shot I want. It's the real shot! It's the life shot....
And then there's the other side, the darkness. The deep empty darkness that so many are afraid of yet it's this darkness that makes light possible, it's this darkness that holds the shadows, the depth and the beauty of working in unison with the light. With out this darkness we would have no photos with feeling, we would have washed out days into washed out nights and it's this darkness that we all fear yet also this darkness we all must live with and become part of knowing that somewhere in this life, this darkness will embrace us to the bitter end....
Other than that, life is just that. Life…. We awake each day and take it as a gift, smile with the rising sun and wrap our arms around every minute. Because it's all yours to be had!!!
September 21st 2006
Fall is here... The crisp air, the bone chilling breeze and the beauty that comes around every year as the leaves begin to lose their pigment and turn the most beautiful colours. Don't you think it's sort of odd that the leaves turn the brightest colours, the reds, purples, yellow oranges and more? And they do this right before they die off? Like they live their entire life building, growing and shining in green just so they become spectacular and magical showing the world what they had to offer the entire time... Maybe it says something. Along the lines of enjoying life, the people around you and the people you meet that bring that smile to your face because even if it's for a short time, that smile is what it's all about. Like the leaves, those colours are what it's all about.
And let me tell you, Collinsville? It's the place to enjoy the colours. Nice drives through the local towns, even the drive to work it so wonderful!!! And that's what I need to remember. That even when things seem to be so tough, some days feeling lost and wanting parts of my life back, I have so many precious things and live in such a precious world with precious people all around... I do I do I do....
19-AUG-2005
August 22nd 2006
We all need to laugh sometimes, he it is, August 22nd and it's got to be one of the most beautiful days out. The early morning walk was just wonderful, the air was crisp and the sky was this excellent dark blue. Really a morning that could never be topped. And a day that is just going excellent. And it got even better when I recieved a comment on this page about the entries being so dramatic. Actually some of the exact words were:
"Dude, Suck it up. Everyone of your blogs are so dramatic. Grow a set of balls and get on with life. Things happen. DEAL with it."
And it went on from there, But I realized a few things.
The first - more people need to open up and be at one with their own feelings, let them out from with in and move onto the next day.
Two - people that have never lost some one as close as my father was to me have no clue what it feels like or how it can turn your life upside down.
And three - People that have to use such words and express the way they feel in a manner like that need to realize, it could possibly be their life that they need to start dealing with and come to that reality, it could even be them that brings down the walls around them instead of building them up. But we may never know will we. So to mbuxol@sbcglobal I think it's time you look at your life and figure out a way to bring some kindness into it... And if I had to take a guess, I would say that if this PBlog was full of all happy days and things you would spit out some line like "DUDE, GET OVER YOURSELF, NO ONE'S LIFE IS HAPPY EVER DAY, YOU KNOW YOU'RE FULL OF IT..."
Oh well... I'm still sitting here with a smile on my face.
August 12th 2006
Well, it's been a while since I've been here and well, there are many reasons for that. And I'll begin with life after my June 6th Accident. And that lack there of. Because on June 16th my father passed away. So let's see, 6/6/06 I have this horrible bike accident that I still can't remember anything about. Then 6/16/06 my father passes away. So much for thinking the whole 666 numbers are just a bunch of hype.
Now, I'm finally coming back around. I've been riding a bit more and the weather is just beautiful now. Fall is coming, which I can't wait for, and the crisp air is just so fresh and clean. I know that it's going to be a great season for some photos. Pictures my father would be proud of. I still miss him, every day, every single day. Some days are better than others but there are still those days that are not so good. That I wake up and just feel like finding a hole in the wall and digging my way in to hide from life... This too shall pass though. I hope that as time goes by the pain fades away more and I just have the wonderful thoughts of the times we all had with him. Fishing, camping, photo shoots and more... His life was a blessed one, many travels, many smiles, and many friends.......
http://www.pbase.com/just_tim/my_father
June 9th 2006
I'm giving you a warning that this isn't going to be bright and happy. And really that I don't know where it's going to goone bit. What I do know is that about 72 hours ago 15+ hours of my life was ripped away from me. That while I was out on a great ride something happened and I was discovered flat out on the road with a large contusion on the back of my head and many more large abrasions bruises and bumps. I can't help to think that some one knows what went wrong. Was I hit by a car, clipped by a mirror, run off the road or some thing even more random? It's tearing me apart not knowing what or why this happened. And it kills me that I can't remember it at all. My head is killing me, my face hurts me legs, arms, shoulders and back. The only part of me that doesn't hurt are my feet.
I remember little snap shots here and there, I remember one of the Blurps from the ambulance and a few scenes from the trauma room but that's it and I HATE IT! I'm scared to pick up my bike from the police station. Not because of what it may or may not look like. But because that means I'll have to ride it again? I'm scared to do so. So Freakin Scared that in one little instant so much was ripped out of my control yet it could have been so much more. I'm walking, I'm eating and more. I should be happy about that but it's so hard right now. Maybe it's too soon? Maybe I need to give it time. Maybe this is it.... No one deserves to ever crash in such a way and NO ONE deserves to NOT know what truly happened. I feel like it's a puzzle I'll wish I could finish every day of my life...
If there was one benefit to this entire scenario, it's that I was asleep only rooms away from my fahter who is still in the ICU and not doing well. When I found out I was on the same floor as him I felt a connection that was needed. Like he was there with me or me with him? I don't know. I'm just looking for answers to these things and I don't know where to look.......
I'm going to stop the ramble now. And hey, I don't know if that's what this PBLOG section is for anyways but it makes sense to me...
June 5th 2006
I don't know where today went, is or is going? I seem tilted, like I'm living through an endless struggle of difficulty. From a moment of social disconnection at work or just a feeling of disconnection and isolation. It's how I feel right now. I don't want to be where I am right now. I want to be home, I want that secure feeling. Not this odd feeling that just needs to be pushed back down with that comfort of home. Something I know, a space that I can control. Smiling faces that in turn make me smile. I feel like I need to get away, to run far and fast with out fear of failure or anything else that will leave me with a feeling of being inept and alone.... Why is today such that kind of day. I'll overpower this valley and push on through. And soon enough there will be a view, hopefully a beautiful view from on top of the mountain filled with highs that are unconceivable. Can't I just go home now...
May 31st 2006
If there ever was a month and half this month was it. Our new puppy, house warming / graduation party, wonderful spring weather, Morgan's concert, Maya's T-Ball.... And now it's coming to an end. And the best part about it coming to an end is that June is here. We'll be able to head down to the river and our new swimming hole. What a wonderful place to be. And while I some times think of all these other places I would rather be I just sit back and remember that there are so many people that could only wish to live in a place as wonderful as Collinsville.
