I'm a freaking CAT!!!

So I just laying here on the bed.
All of a sudden Papa comes up to me.
He sticks this metal box in my face.
He says to say whiskey.
Now if he asked for cheese, maybe.
However, I am on to his game.
He just wants me to say something
that makes the corner of my mouth go up.
He is trying to get me to fake a smile.
I am on to this game.
Maybe if I give him some attitude he will go away.
Maybe I can just go back to sleep soon.
All this running around in the mornings
can really throw off my napping pattern.
Between the radio and the elliptical,
well what is a cat to do.
I really HATE when the elliptical machine beeps.
It just sends me into a tizzy.
I run around and I can't find it.
It really is not so easy to look this great.
Papa just jumps in the water box and comes out clean.
That is such cheating, no work at all.
I have to shower with my tounge.
Then I need to take a nap again, so I can finish.
Then Papa goes away.
He says it is to pay for my cat fud,
but I always wonder if he is seeing other cats.
Is he going to a zoo and looking at tigers?
I hope not because I can't compete with no tiger.
Panthers, leopards, none of the big kitties.
Heck, they can take down a caraboo,
and all I can do is chase lasers.
Papa loves me though, even though I don't do much.
Heck, last night, I would not let him eat.
I crawled up on his lap, and every time he
went to take a bite, I would play irritated.
Ha, I sure got him good.
He promised me he would take care of me forever.
So far so good, although if he did not
go away during the day, he could form my lap thing all the time.
Ahh, it would be like a Sunday, but every day of the week.
Now, that would be a life fitting of a kitty like me.
Ok, I am done, get that camera out of my face.

Girly, meow meow mefreackingeow